68 Things I Learned At The Democratic National Convention

All of the stuff I noticed while I was at the DNC in Charlotte.

1. Democrats are really into taking selfies.

Seriously, I saw so many delegates doing this.

2. Street preachers wheel around their giant crosses.

Isn’t that ironic or something? Jesus had to carry the cross! Flop.

3. Street preachers are probably the only people in the world who wear cargo pant jorts.

I just can’t with these. CAN’T.

4. New Mexico has the cutest/most clever Obama slogan.

Love it.

5. Seriously, everyone needs to get off of their cellphones while someone is speaking.

When someone is speaking, you should be listening! How rude.

I actually saw some lady get scolded by someone in her delegation for being on the phone. I think he saw me taking a picture of her.

6. Also their iPads. I saw like 5 times the number of iPads at the DNC than the RNC.

iPads should also never be used at cameras!

Even this guy had one!

7. If the President was an element, he would be Obamium.

The more you know.

8. Democrat men like dressing up.

There were very few stylishly, blinged-out men at the RNC. This guy knew how to do it.

9. Some Dem men even wear fancy hats!

10. This is the best Michelle Obama bag ever to exist.

No explanation needed.

11. You can’t just stuff a bunch of mini American flags on the back of your hat.

It’s not a thing!

12. Some company makes American flag corsets.

13. The best way to save a seat is with your giant homemade American pride hat.

14. Fruit is potentially hazardous.

This is the list of things prohibited inside the forum. I saw some peaches near the security checkpoint that didn’t make it through.

15. Democrats are obsessed with recycling.

They had these recycling stations all throughout the DNC. Most of the stations had a recycling station monitor who made sure you were doing it right.

When I went to throw away my iced coffee cup, I got accosted because apparently the cup is recyclable. The straw isn’t, that goes into the landfill.

16. This is how the media finds delegates from states they need to talk to.

They walk around with signs like this. It’s a fairly common sight.

17. This is the most adorable swag.

You can buy markers to color Bo in, too!

18. Bojangles is the gift from God/ the secret star of the DNC.

Bojangles was all over the place at the DNC. They sold it at both the convention center and the forum. It was common to see fried chicken boxes, like this, abandoned throughout the venues.

19. Fame whore tip: Dress up as Uncle Sam if you want to get on the big screen at the convention.

All of the Uncle Sams at the DNC and RNC ended up on camera.

20. An old man delicately holding a tiny hat is always funny.

21. You also just can’t wear a tiny hat on top of a regular hat.

It defeats the purpose!

Cute story about these tiny hats, though: The Texas delegation wore these on the first night because one of their represenatives told them, “No friggin’ big hats.” So, they went out and got tiny hats.

22. Democrats do food infinitely better than Republicans.

The food at the DNC was legit amazing. They even had a little Pinkberry station.

23. The mascot for Planned Parenthood is Pillimina.

24. Obama bobbleheads are called Obobbleheads.

I <3 puns.

25. Fox News really knows its audience.

26. President Obama is seriously courting the cat lady vote.

There were two cat-related items for sale in the Obama store. The Meow for Michelle is (obviously) my favorite. It’s brilliant.

27. The President is also going after the janitor vote,

28. and the Zumba lovers vote.

29. Gay marriage makes Lady Liberty cry : (

These trucks were driving around the streets of Charlotte all week.

30. This is the most popular pin amongst Democrats.

Everyone had one.

31. Walking sticks are really in for Democrats.

So hot right now.

32. DNC actually stands for Destory uNborn Children.

Duh.

33. This is the best political convention shirt.

No explanation needed.

34. “Got Titus” is a pretty horrible/scary campaign slogan.

It’s a little too “got hepatitis” for me.

35. This is the guy who runs “Obama-bling.com”

He’s from Colorado, and basically king of Democratic bling.

36. The Democrats need to step up their stair game.

The stairs at the DNC were pretty raggedy.

37. Wolf Blitzer is a Blackberry guy.

38. Democrats are really bad at directions.

Signs with crooked arrows were all around the convention. I understand what they were going for, but it always ended up looking like a confusing mess.

39. Of course there is a collard greens peace sign.

And of course it was at the DNC.

40. All babies should be required to hold tiny flags.

Always cute.

41. These shoes need to be burned.

A pin seller was wearing these. I’m sorry, I’m just not a fan!

42. Jort handbags exist.

They were selling them at the CarolinaFest street fair.

43. The world’s largest gummy bear is (obviously) made in the US.

44. This is the most badass Democrat alive.

He walked around with a cigar in his mouth the entire time.

45. The Democratic donkey mascot should always have googly eyes.

46. This is how news anchors stay dry in the rain.

47. Democrats are really good at matching their pins with their outfits.

They’re really good at matching period, to be honest.

48. Loretta Harper is the best dressed Democrat in the country.

Seriously styling.

49. Don’t sit in the wrong seat. You will start a fight.

The different colored stickers separate the delegations. I saw some dude from the Texas delegation removing these stickers from some seats, and a screaming match ensued.

50. Surfing Obama exists.

51. That thing is called a “pale.”

It’s an American Samoa thing.

52. Visors are the most overpriced item at the DNC.

Seriously, $25 for a visor?! I HATE VISORS, sorry.

53. A delegate from California had the worst seat in the convention.

Their view of the lectern was completely obstructed.

54. Old people wearing matching khakis and holding hands is adorable.

There were so many matching couples at the DNC.

55. This is how everyone should pose with an Obama cutout.

56. Democrats are really into their MSNBC/CNN anchors.

This picture is pretty horrible, but this lady is wearing Rachel Maddow/Anderson Cooper pins. I saw a bunch of people wearing these.

I can’t say I saw anyone wearing Bill O’Reilly or Gretta Van Susteren pins at the RNC.

57. This is what a uterus would look like on top of a hat.

58. Democrats love their custom-made license plates.

59. They’re really into wearing them.

60. The Obama Y’all shirt is probably the most popular shirt at the convention.

I saw a lot of people wearing this one.

61. If you wear something “crazy,” reporters will attack you, and you will be a DNC star.

This lady, who wore a flag, was the star of the first day of the convention. She hung out in the lobby and was swarmed by reporters all day. Total fame whore.

62. This is the only newspaper from 9/11 actually published on 9/11.

This guy is a newspaper collector from Charlotte that was selling newspapers outside of the convention center.

I asked him what his most rare newspaper was, and he showed me this one. It’s apparently the only newspaper dated September 11 in the country. Most newspapers were printed the day after, September 12.

63. Newspaper collecting is a thing in general.

He had 1,000 copies of this Walter Payton paper. He had 1,000 copies of a bunch of newspapers.

64. Kangol caps are really popular with Democrats.

So many people wearing these hats.

65. Obama is the manicure president.

Because his name is perfect for nails… O-B-A-M-A = 5 fingers.

66. Democrats do swag better.

Infinitely better than the Republican swag bag. But still, the swag was really random. I have no idea why everyone got a leather iPad case. Oh wait, I actually do. See #6.

67. Democrats are really into crafting.

There were a lot of fancy homemade hats like this one.

68. And these are the best glasses ever.

The end.

All photos by Matt Stopera.

See also:

69.

LINK

58 Things I Learned At The Republican National Convention

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