54 Things I Learned At The Biggest Gun Show In The World

I spent three days at the NRA Convention in Houston, Texas. Here’s what I learned.

54. Zombie Obama shooting targets are so hot right now.


There were 3 targets that resembled the President at the convention. All of them were zombies.

ID: 1139390

53. A terrorist hunting permit costs $2 or you can get three for $5.

In case you need to buy one.

ID: 1139315

52. There is a Miniature Arms Society, and it is adorable.

ID: 1139305

I just love tiny things.


ID: 1139303

51. There is a company that makes AK-47 guitars.

In case you ever need one of them.

ID: 1139306

50. The NRA convention might as well be a beard convention.

There were tons of guys with seriously impressive beards.

ID: 1139371

49. It should also be called The Second Amendment convention.

For more obvious reasons, though.

ID: 1139311

48. You’re not supposed to put your finger on the trigger when you take a picture with a gun.

Oops. My bad. When this photo was put on Twitter, a bunch of gun owners tweeted back saying you’re not supposed to do that. I didn’t know!

ID: 1139440

47. It’s just Steve Austin nowadays.

No more Stone Cold ;(

ID: 1141261

46. If you’ve always wanted a hula girl holding a gun for your car…I’ve got news for you: It exists!

ID: 1139310

45. Gun owners have completely co-opted the “Keep Calm and Carry On” motto.

ID: 1139359

44. The NRA hates Piers Morgan.

Also the media in general. At the leadership conference, the media and President Obama were the No. 1 and No. 2 topics of discussion.

Rick Santorum also talked a lot about France.

ID: 1139312

43. Someone really needs to get Rick Santorum a Tide-To-Go pen.

He had a stain on his tie at the leadership conference. It was basically driving me crazy.

ID: 1139409

42. This is what a VW Bug van looks like with a giant gun coming out of the sunroof.

The most popular photo op at the convention.

ID: 1139314

41. Lots of people who own guns also have ponytails.

ID: 1139320

40. Also, this is the King of the Ponytails.

ID: 1139334

39. Hand sanitizer is the secret savior of the NRA convention.

There are 50,000 people touching the same guns all day. It’s kind of a gross nightmare.

ID: 1139331

38. There are some seriously terrifying gun targets.

A booth at the convention had a bunch of posters of shooting targets.

ID: 1139336

Here are some more examples:

ID: 1139328

37. Pink guns, even though they have the same specs as the black ones, cost significantly more.

The pink gun costs $352 while the black one costs $199. They have exactly the same specs.

ID: 1139358

36. It costs $25,000 to hunt your own leopard.

I had no idea you could hunt a leopard to begin with. You can find more exotic animals you can hunt here: 16 exotic animals you probably didn’t know you could hunt.

ID: 1139363

35. Glenn Beck still draws huge crowds for autograph signings.

Glenn Beck had, by far, the biggest crowd for his autograph signing. The line was enormous.

ID: 1139366

Yeah, you might want to bring a chair.

This guy did.

ID: 1139365

34. At every conservative-ish event there is always, without fault, a token colonial.

Every. Single. Time. People love talking to them too. They’re always talking to someone!

ID: 1139367

33. I need this T-shirt.

For obvious reasons.

ID: 1139368

32. This is what the face of a man who just sliced a huge pig in half with a giant knife looks like.

There was a station with giant swords and amazing videos of middle-aged men slicing things with them. I could watch it for hours.

ID: 1139372

31. iPhone Tasers seem like a pretty bad idea. They also cost $135 and charge your phone at the same time.

There was a safety that goes on top of it, but I’m sorry. If I had that thing in my pocket something bad would probably happen.

ID: 1139376

30. This Taser needs an upgrade.

While I appreciate the idea, who has one of these phones nowadays?!

ID: 1139302

29. Most of the people who attend the NRA convention are older.

I would say a quarter of attendees are older white men, hence the sign.

ID: 1139396

28. There is an entire company that exists solely based on this logo.

That’s it.

ID: 1139397

27. If grandma’s shooting a huge gun, you’re going to stop and watch.

Like, you have to stop and watch.

ID: 1139398

26. Gun owners are really into T-shirts with sayings on them.

ID: 1139401

25. AK-47 shirts are especially popular.

ID: 1139430

24. Though the most popular clothing item is definitely the “collared Constitution American flag” T.


Makes sense… but this shirt really needs a redesign!

ID: 1140612

23. The weirdest part of being at the convention is when you turn a corner and someone is pointing a gun at you.

They’re just trying it out…but still. You’re like, WHOA THERE.

ID: 1139402

22. A couple that wears matching denim together…stays together.

ID: 1139406

21. The gun modeling industry is a thing. Multiple manufacturers had models signing posters for free all day.

ID: 1141422

20. The best way to get on the giant JumboTron during the NRA keynote speeches is to have a crazy/awesome beard.

ID: 1139411

19. Gun glamour shots are kind of amazing.

I mean, all glamour shots are.

ID: 1139412

18. The hospitality suite at the NRA convention is obviously called the “Ring of Freedom.”

ID: 1139415

17. Glen Beck’s autograph costs $10.

Plus you get a book!

ID: 1139416

16. This is what the kids merch looks like.

Shouldn’t the crayons be guns?

ID: 1139417

15. Things are made out of ostrich leg.

I had never seen that until now.

ID: 1139420

14. This is probably the most popular shirt people were buying at the convention.

ID: 1139421

13. This Starbucks shirt was also quite popular.

ID: 1139300

12. This is what this guy looks like when he calls in sick.

ID: 1139423

11. Ted Nugent is basically the king of the NRA convention.

ID: 1139427

He had two booths solely dedicated to him. He also had an entire T-shirt merchandise booth.

ID: 1139426

10. Tom Selleck’s mustache is a member of the NRA.

Also Karl Malone.

ID: 1139414

9. “One free shotgun at a time” is a company motto.

ID: 1139431

8. The handgun-purse industry is booming/also needs a makeover.

A makeover in the form of better designs.

ID: 1139432

7. This is also the best, most clever name for a gun-handbag company.


ID: 1139424

6. Some gun owners are hippies.

This guy wore that shirt all three days of the convention. Typical.

ID: 1139433

5. P.I.G. = politically incorrect guns.

Politically incorrect guns are machine guns and similar bigger guns.

ID: 1139438

4. There is a company dedicated to making workout gear that can hold guns. They also have this awesome running man.

View this embed ›

ID: 1141392

3. This is what you should wear to the NRA convention if you want to be incredibly popular.

ID: 1139988

2. There are a bunch of people who wear kilts.

ID: 1139989

1. And this is the leader of the Vice Squad.

ID: 1140686


ID: 1141375

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