42 Things Britney Spears Does That Normal People Could Never

Basically everything.

1. Go to the Cheesecake Factory and forget to pay your bill.

ID: 3452154

2. Visit the moon.

ID: 3452163

3. Talk about something without actually talking about that thing and still make sense.

ID: 3452217

4. Think actual live monkey’s live in a child’s hat.

ID: 3452250

5. Start your own religion…

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… that would take over the world and inspire all to be better versions of themselves.

ID: 3452285

6. Look exactly the same over the course of 80+ years.

ID: 3452566

7. Have gays do all your promo for you.

ID: 3452580

8. Put the same song on multiple albums.

ID: 3452599

9. Look like a true badass bitch throwing the deuces up in a pink turtleneck.

ID: 3452611

10. Sacrifice Will.i.am with a group of witches.

ID: 3452629

11. Endearingly air clap.

ID: 3452669

12. Have the Pope hold your most important work of art.

ID: 3452679

13. Forget how to smile.

ID: 3452695

14. Explore Mars on a mini Escalade.

ID: 3452792

15. Have the President of the free world tweet you thanking you for single handedly saving the economy.

ID: 3452863

16. Hoard fast food under your bed.

ID: 3452931

17. Ignore a 12-year-old.

ID: 3453006

18. Sell produce in Ukraine.

ID: 3453013

19. Get teens to go to bed.

ID: 3453045

20. Master the Japanese language in like a day.

ID: 3453212

21. Make people cry on command with a handshake.

ID: 3458669

22. Have literally no idea how to say Ke$ha’s name.

ID: 3458671

23. Say the word “vagina loca” and have it be totally okay.

ID: 3458762

24. Educate millions of people with the flip of your hair.

ID: 3467131

25. Use words that actually mean nothing.

ID: 3467197

26. Promote an album on Mars.

ID: 3467308

27. Successfully pull off a plastic see-through cowboy hat.

ID: 3467314

28. Let some dude with a checkerboard head touch you.

ID: 3467315

29. Gyrate on a wall in some dungeon where Madonna happens to be on the other side.

ID: 3467430

30. Do this?

ID: 3467540

31. Double first a frap.

ID: 3467547

32. Actually get Suri to work.

ID: 3467885

33. Completely blur gender boundaries.

ID: 3467887

34. Enslave 4 gays.

ID: 3468021

35. Use the word “funky.”

ID: 3468184

36. Permanently dress like you’re stuck in the early 2000s.

ID: 3468225

37. Have frappucino-induced rage.

ID: 3468277

38. Appear in Sabrina the teenage witch’s living room.

ID: 3485120

39. Lick Snoop Dogg’s beard.

ID: 3490110

40. Be a cartoon character.

ID: 3480663

41. Eat a big ass sandwich while people cater to your every want and need.

ID: 3485131

42. And lastly + most iconically, inspire millions of people to “do emails.”

ID: 3490114

Shoutouts to my fav Tumblrs of all time: Elephantney, Trollney, and Slavesnake. LYLAS.

ID: 3490109

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