The 20 Most Insane Crimes Involving Bananas

Banana-related crime is a thing. This is real. Be safe.

Best part: “Police in Connecticut say they’re looking for a man who smashed his vehicle into a gas station in Newington, swiped a banana from a shelf and ate it before leaving early Wednesday morning. Nothing else was taken.”

Best part: “The banana break-in and lobster larceny happened at the UNC student union between March 31 and April 1 and resulted in the removal of a wooden sculpture worth $1,000, WXIX-TV reported.”

Best part:

He asked the student: “Why a banana? Why not a … grape?”

“I don’t know,” Thompson replied. “Potassium is great.”

Best part: “Solange approached Club Cameo and was turned away because she was intoxicated and carrying a 3 ft banana shaped balloon.”

Best part: “According to the store manager, the gorilla was not injured, just embarrassed. Police were unable to locate the banana.”

Best part: “The neighbor, Joseph Giacomo, 85, allegedly pointed a pistol at his head and threatened to kill him.”

Best part: “Mabe says deputies took pictures of the banana peel.”

Best part: “A woman who was recently convicted of stealing a banana showed her displeasure with a Broward judge’s bond decision by grabbing a roll of toilet paper and throwing it at the camera.”

Best part: “When the victim went into the store, Johnson told police she chased her, throwing bananas at the victim while calling her a “monkey.”“

Best part: “He said this idea was to attract customers to the store.”

Best part: The fact that this woman is called “Banana Lady.”

Best part: The fact that this woman is called “Banana Man.”

Craziest part: “When the deputy tried to arrest Smolinsky, he resisted and had to be pepper-sprayed, authorities said.”

Best part: “Pieper said Kohnert didn’t offer much of an explanation for the yellow banana costume. “All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn’t really have a reason for the costume.”

Best part: “Banana man is free.”

Best part: The fact that someone thought a banana was a snake?!!

Craziest part: “The incident occurred on the weekend when Wape intervened in a fight between his father and another son arguing over a bunch of bananas.”

Best part: “Somebody dressed in a gorilla suit entered the store and was apparently trying to take a large banana that they had as part of a banana display,” said police Capt. Steve Klein.”

Best part: The screen captures obviously.

And lastly, though slightly un-related…

That had nothing to do with bananas but HOW COULD I NOT INCLUDE IT?!

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