Scene: Giggy the pom is hanging out in his luxurious home in Beverly Hills. The weather is nice. Giggy is waiting for his famous friend, Jiff, to come over to discuss a charity project.
1. *Door bell rings*
2. It’s Jiff. Jiff and Giggy know each other through Giggy’s mutual Wiccan yoga friend.
3. The two are meeting to discuss their work on a future charity project involving clean air in northern Canada.
4. “Oh well hello, this is quite beautiful,” Jiff says beside the pool.
5. “You have a beautiful house, Giggy.”
6. “Thanks Jiff. I know. Enough about my giant home and incredible view, let’s talk about saving people and clean air in Canada. I love charity.”
7. *The two take a seat*
8. “Lisa, darling, please. I need you.”
10. “Yes, she’s the help. Lisa baby darling girl love, please, I need some food for my guest.”
11. *Lisa brings the goods*
12. The two sit in silence.
13. “Jiff, what can we do to help all those people without clean air in Canada?”
14. “We could organize an event and I could entertain them.”
15. “There are a number of extremely fabulous things that I can do.”
16. *The help arrives to take the exhausted poms to ‘Second Tea’”*
17. “This is absolutely lovely, Lisa. Thank you. You know me so well. Now run along.”
18. *Two other random pom-wives appear*
19. *The two pom-wives ambush Jiff. They’re screaming at Jiff because he isn’t co-chairing their charity function to benefit leftover lizards in southern California*
20. “GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT. LISA, WHY DID YOU LET THEM IN? This is TOTALLY and UTTERLY inappropriate”
21. *Muffled barks*
22. COMMERCIAL BREAK
23. “Ugh. I am shvitzing. Those women. How dare them. They don’t own you Jiff. This is about me and my charity.*
24. *Jiff casually takes out his one-of-a-kind Ellen hoodie*
25. “Anyway, maybe we could donate this to charity?”
26. *Jiff walks to the piano* Jiff speaks, “Yes, or maybe I could play the piano. I love sharing my talents. Does this piano have autotune?”
27. *Giggy shakes his head. The two sit next to each other on an ottoman. It’s really awkward. The silence speaks so loud.*
28. “Okay, Jiff. You COULD play the piano. But would anyone care? We need to raise money, not scare people away.”
29. “I could dance.”
31. COMMERCIAL BREAK
32. *The two are outside. This meeting is obviously not working out.*
33. *Jiff walks away.* Giggy randomly screams, “WHY DOESN’T SHE JUST SAY IT TO MY FACE?!”
Everyone is confused.
34. *Credits play*
All photos taken by Matt Stopera.