The DOs And DONT’s Of Dollywood

The ultimate guide to one of my new favorite places, Dollywood.

1. DO: Get barbecue.

You’re in the South. They do BBQ better than anyone else.

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2. DO NOT: Get pizza.

You’re in the South.

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3. DO: Dress in matching outfits with cowboy hats and fanny packs and totally own it.

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4. DO NOT: Stare at the roasting pig.

Because there are so many other better things to see and it’s kind of weird to watch a dead pig spin in circles.

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5. DO: Check out the replica of Dolly’s childhood home.

Who doesn’t love a good replica?

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Check in there too.

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7. DO NOT: Stare at this picture for too long.

Because this kid will probably steal your soul.

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8. DO: Tour Dolly’s old tour bus.

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That’s me taking a picture between a family.

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10. DO NOT: Snatch her wig.

One of Dolly’s wigs is in her old bus. Apparently she always kept one by her bed.

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11. DO: See Dolly’s history of the Smokey’s in “Heartsong”.

MUST. SEE. The theatre is beautiful and they have “fake” rain. It’s probably one of the kitschiest things in the world.

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12. DO: Look at all the pictures of Dolly with celebrities in her museum. There are quite a few gems.

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15. DO: Go into Dolly’s closet.

It’s a store dedicated to to Dolly’s clothing.

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16. DO NOT: Buy anything.

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I think you get the point.

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19. DO: Pose like this little kid.

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20. DO: Check out the Dollywood swag.

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21. DO NOT: Buy hats like this one.

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22. DO: Ask for a Dollywood gift bag.

Because yeah.

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23. DO: This tip.

There are random cooking tips throughout part of the park.

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24. DO NOT: Stay in the gospel museum for too long.

It’s kind of terrifying.

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25. DO: Keep your eyes open for pictures of Dolly’s dog, Popeye.

There are pictures of Popeye throughout the Dolly museum. Popeye always has an expression like this one.

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26. DO NOT: Eat the free pork rinds.

Samples were stale.

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27. DO: Pretend to die.

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28. DO NOT: Actually die.

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29. DO: Go on rides.

The rides are legit. The roller-coasters are scary. Good stuff. This lumberjack thing was pretty cool, I’ve never seen anything like it before.

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30. DO: Pretend to be a bird.

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31. DO NOT: Eat all the pie.

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32. DO: Check out the bald eagles.

Dollywood has a TON of bald eagles. At first I thought it was messed up that they were in a cage, but then I read a little (the sign) and saw that they’re unfit to ever return to the wild… so I guess what they’re doing is good.

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34. DO: Dip candles.

Don’t knock it till you tried it. It’s fun and pretty cheap. Also look at the little kid’s face. He gets it.

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35. DO NOT: Buy a knife.

Because you probably shouldn’t buy knives in an amusement park. Right?

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Seriously. So much fun. Way more fun than I thought it was gonna be. The biggest downside is price. Like most amusement parks it’s pretty pricey.

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BONUS: There were so many older couples at Dollywood. I’ve never seen old couples at an amusement park. Dollywood is for everyone, and I swear this post isn’t an ad for Dollywood.

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<3 you Dolly

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FYI, we’re on a road trip to Bonnaroo. See all the stuff we’ve stopped at a long the way here!

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