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    The 14 Commandments Of New York

    Live by the rules the HBIC has laid out for us.

    I

    You shall never, ever apologize.

    II

    You shall never let a bitch talk her mouth off, especially if untrue, which is always the case.

    III

    You shall never let a bitch get away with saying she looks like Beyonce when she looks absolutely nothing like her.

    IV

    You shall live with it.

    V

    You shall bear false witness against thy neighbor.

    VI

    You shall ALWAYS be fabulous.

    VII

    You shall tell a bitch she looks like a fucking man and should get a a facelift for her crows feet if need be.

    VIII

    You shall never be afraid to spit in the face of someone who has crossed you.

    IX

    You shall take the high road. All the way to hell. Bitch.

    X

    You shall only date guys who drink a lot.

    XI

    You shall shade with side-eye.

    But if you can hair-flip at the same time. Do that.

    XII

    You shall not give a fuck.

    XIII

    You shall threaten to kill, but never actually do it.

    Last, but most importantly:

    XIV

    You shall not have any other "Head Bitches" besides me.

    Obey thy leader or else you will get your mother fucking ass beat.