The 14 Commandments Of New York

Live by the rules the HBIC has laid out for us. posted on

3. You shall never, ever apologize.

You are always right. Always. No matter what, especially if some bitch like Pumkin tries to cross you.

5. You shall never let a bitch talk her mouth off, especially if untrue, which is always the case.

Similar to Commandment I.

7. You shall never let a bitch get away with saying she looks like Beyonce when she looks absolutely nothing like her.

This is your truth.

9. You shall live with it.

This is also your truth.

11. You shall bear false witness against thy neighbor.

In order to get ahead, you may have to lie and accuse someone else of something they never did.

13. You shall ALWAYS be fabulous.

You are the vision of beauty.

Believe it.

16. You shall tell a bitch she looks like a fucking man and should get a a facelift for her crows feet if need be.

Another commandement aimed at Pumkin.

18. You shall never be afraid to spit in the face of someone who has crossed you.

Again, this is for Pumkin.

20. You shall take the high road. All the way to hell. Bitch.

You may spit sometimes, and you might even brawl, but you will always be better than the others. You are on a different level.

22. You shall only date guys who drink a lot.

Alcohol is your life-blood. You need it to survive.

24. You shall shade with side-eye.

25. But if you can hair-flip at the same time. Do that.

27. You shall not give a fuck.

Because fuck everyone and you are the queen.

29. You shall threaten to kill, but never actually do it.

Intimidation is key.

Last, but most importantly:

32. You shall not have any other “Head Bitches” besides me.

33. Obey thy leader or else you will get your mother fucking ass beat.

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