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The 50 Absolute Sexiest Things Ryan Gosling Did In 2013

A recap of everything Ryan Gosling did in 2013 that could be considered sexy. Also jizzworthy.

1. In 2013, Ryan Gosling looked at something on the ground.

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2. He held a reusable water bottle.

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3. He pointed while holding that reusable water bottle.

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4. And then, for some reason, he laughed.

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5. He walked to a van…

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6. …lifted his head, smelled something funny, and made a face.

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7. Then he waited for an older man to open the door to the van.

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8. Another time he pumped gas.

9. He lifted the nozzle, did that whole “how does this pump work?” thing, and then began filling up his truck.

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10. He pumped.

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11. He fisted.

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12. He let his dog sniff his arm.

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13. Then he did that whole “how do I pay at this gas station pump?”

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14. He prayed the credit card slot worked so he wouldn’t have to actually go inside and pay.

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And it worked. So he left.

15. Who could forget that argument he got in with a bush?

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16. The angst.

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17. The confusion.

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18. And ultimately, the rejection.

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19. There was that time he was cold, but not cold enough to zip up his jacket.

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20. That time he stood next to a woman who just couldn’t seem to figure it out.

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21. But then they talked it out, Ryan was like, “Come on, please,” and she got over it because Ryan Gosling told her to.

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22. In 2013, Ryan made sure he still had his wallet.

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23. He carried a tripod in front of a woman eating ice cream.

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24. He tried to read a really old map.

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25. And in a surprise move, he handed the really old map off to a man in a sleeveless shirt.

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26. A true highlight of 2013 happened when Ryan was in a field with a box.

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27. He bent over…

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28. …and then lifted, carried, and transported the box.

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29. Earlier in the year, Ryan met a boy.

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30. The two were spotted sharing a tender embrace.

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31. But that was it. The two haven’t been spotted together since. There is this photo of Ryan thinking about what to text next. One can only assume it’s about his little fling.

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32. The whole thing was pretty hard on our boy.

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33. Plus you know he had to deal with that troll Eva Mendes at home.

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34. Moving on to more positive things. Most people look kind of weird when they smile with no teeth, but Ryan Gosling does not. He looks hot af.

Andy Kropa/Invision / AP

35. Now let’s talk about the velvet suit.

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36. That was the day Sir Jesus Christ himself came out to see our boy.

Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

37. That suit though.

Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

38. I sometimes like to imagine what that suit feels like…

Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

39. …against my naked body.

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40. : D

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41. Anyways, he did his perfect little smile in his little velvet suit.

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42. Then he looked like he was going to cry or had to take a shit or something.

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43. He even did that squint thing that makes me want to die.

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So I did. RIP.

44. But the brown suit resurrected me.

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

45. One of the highlights of the brown suit happened when Ryan looked at the camera.

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46. He longingly gazed in picture form at his own real self.

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47. And then pointed at a teen.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

48. There was that time Ryan got all Bill Nye on our asses and grabbed dust particles.

49. Sweet Jesus, his laugh.

50. And he held Will Ferrell.

The Jimmy Kimmel Show

Lucky bastard.

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