1. Our lit’ral wet dream begins in 2004. The Notebook. You’re in a creepy-ass old house that was definitely haunted. It doesn’t matter. Your loins. They are awakened. You are alive.
2. That beard. That hair. That rain. That sweet, sweet pure sex.
3. Those arms. His hands. The sweat. That fact that he’s about to get it in.
5. Swimming in that armpit. Playing in that rain.
6. Getting that unleaded. Pumping that gas.
7. That grin almost makes you forget about the Kate Gosselin thing happening on the back of his head.
8. The subtle yet soft + sweet touch of the chest. I like it when you’re gentle.
9. I also like when you look at me like that. Very nice.
10. The blue suit. Had a a lot of fun with that.
11. *Cover my face and light my loins*
12. *Loins burn*
13. Those glasses. That beard. YOU BEAST.
14. *Makes a mess of myself because of that face*
15. *SHIT. I DID IT AGAIN. I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THAT*
16. Screams: “THAT FAAAAAAAACE.”
17. *THE GREEN FUCKING SUIT*
18. *GEORGE FUCKING CLOONEY*
19. *THAT FUCKING APPLE*
21. This was the first time you realized you could get into feet.
22. This was the time you developed your full-on foot fetish.
23. And here’s the time you realized you were into ankles as well.
24. Oh, and that time in baggage claim. You have NEVER looked so good and pleasant, baggage claim.
26. That time he looked up and his veins bulged and your veins bulged and yeah.
27. This was one of those times where it was like, “HOW ARE YOU EVEN REAL?”
28. Also this time.
32. And for these last two moments we will look at these very important photos. Here’s the first.
33. And here’s the second.
And I’m finished. Lights a cig