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The 30 Most Portland Things That Have Ever Happened In Portland

Turns out it’s just like the show.

1. A poop vandal terrorized the stop signs downtown:

2. Someone locked their Hula-Hoop to a bike rack:

3. A man with a Darth Vader mask unicycled down the street while playing bagpipes:

4. That same guy unicycled down the street in a flood dressed as Gandalf:

5. Someone stole a large blue gorilla wearing gold shorts:

6. “Trek in the Park” happened:

7. Bacon Mondays:

8. A woman took her pet parrot through the McDonald’s drive-through.

9. Service cats:

10. The LARP club was established:

11. This was a news story:

12. Also this:

13. A man chilled with his alpaca on the side of the street:

14. Someone found a chicken:

15. Someone else was missing a chicken:

16. Two guys decided to knit together while waiting for a plane:

17. Someone sold their drag queen kit at a garage sale:

18. Two jellyfish closed down a street:

19. A woman covered her entire body in leaves:

20. A baby was stolen:

21. Another person locked up their Hula-Hoop:

WHY IS THIS A THING?

22. Some asshole broke a tree and then someone tacked this note to it:

23. The “PoeTree”:

24. “Birds on Things”:

And to finish up quickly…

25. This happened:

26. So did this:

28. Can’t forget about this:

30. THE END.

Vegan Free-Range Christmas Trees for all, and to all a good night!

Note: Some list items were swapped.

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