The Official 2014 Ladies Olympic Figure Skating Drinking Game

Here’s another great reason to get drunk and watch figure skating.

1. TAKE ONE DRINK:

2. Any time Scott Hamilton does one of the following:

1. Raises his voice: “Triple tooooooe,” “Double luuuuutz”
2. Laughs when someone lands a jump: “Hahahahaha oh!”
3. “Beaaaaaaaautiful”
4. Says someone is “truly special.”
5. Talks about maturity.
6. “It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t…”

3. Any use of the word “fire” or fire metaphors when describing a skater’s performance.


E.g., “Hot off her win at nationals” or “That was a fiery performance.”

4. Any talk of Michelle Kwan and “the gold that eluded her.”

AP Photo/Jeff Chiu, File

5. Any use of “this young lady.”


E.g., “This young lady was second at this years’ world championships.” “This young lady could surprise some folks.” “This young lady loves to listen to Lady Gaga before competing.” Etc.

6. Any time someone falls.

Brian Cassella/Chicago Tribune / MCT

Finish your drink if they don’t get up.

7. Any time there is 1 minute of total silence without commentary and you have no idea what’s going on.

8. TAKE A SHOT:

9. Any use of the word “musicality.”

E.g., “The musicality, personality — he/she has it all!”

10. Any comparison to a horse is made.


E.g., “She’s like the Seabiscuit of figure skating.”

11. If Scott Hamilton “knows her.”

12. Any use of the phrase “supple knees.”

E.g., “She has fresh, supple knees.”

13. Any mention of an American figure skating legend.


E.g., Peggy Flemming, Tonya Harding, Kristi Yamaguchi, Dorothy Hamil, or Nancy Kerrigan.

14. Finish your drink if the cameras pan to said figure skating legend in the audience and they’re on their iPhone.

15. When an athlete is referred to as a “national treasure.”

E.g., “Yuna Kim is a national treasure in her native land of South Korea.”

16. CHUG/FINISH YOUR DRINK:

17. If they say “salchow” more than three times during one person’s performance.

18. Frank Carroll smiles.

Matthew Stockman / Getty Images

19. Actually, if Frank Carroll shows ANY EMOTION.

Matthew Stockman / Getty Images

20. If Tara Lipinksi and Johnny Weir cause a coup and rightfully take over primetime commentating coverage because they are perfect.

Seriously, perfect.

21. Someone in the audience doesn’t know how to use a camera.

22. KILL YOURSELF:

23. Anyone skates to an instrumental of a Linkin Park song.

24. GOOD LUCK!

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