26 Signs You Should Probably Get Off Of Facebook

If you can relate to any of these people then you should probably get off of Facebook immediately.

1. You’ve just gotten into a car accident:

2. You’re robbing a house:

In November 2011, this guy signed into Facebook from a computer inside a home he broke into before sprinting from the scene. Unfortunately, he forgot to logout before he left.

3. You’re trying to sleep:

4. You miss MySpace:

5. You really miss MySpace:

6. You really really really miss MySpace:

7. You just got caught masturbating on a plane:

8. You’re asking for dating advice:

10. You have a birds nest in your closet:

11. You’re holding someone hostage:

Jason Valdez held a woman hostage for 16 hours in a hotel room in Utah and basically live-blogged the entire thing on Facebook.

12. You stepped on some glass:

14. Your friend is passed out drunk in the snow:

15. You just broke your neck:

16. You’re on the toilet:

17. You’re on the toilet and need toilet paper:

18. You’re with someone you’re Facebook friends with:

21. You just stole someone’s phone:

This man broke into someone’s car and stole their cellphone.

According to police, “The suspect apparently took a picture of himself on the victim’s phone, and due to her settings, it automatically uploaded to her Facebook page.”

He was caught shortly after.

22. You’re in a public restroom:

23. You just had sex:

24. You just burned your vagina:

25. You’re leaving completely pointless comments:

26. You’re sniffing gasoline:

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Deputy Editorial Director, Devout Member of the Church of Godney
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