1. You’ve just gotten into a car accident:
2. You’re robbing a house:
In November 2011, this guy signed into Facebook from a computer inside a home he broke into before sprinting from the scene. Unfortunately, he forgot to logout before he left.
3. You’re trying to sleep:
4. You miss MySpace:
5. You really miss MySpace:
6. You really really really miss MySpace:
8. You’re asking for dating advice:
9. You’re posting shit like this:
10. You have a birds nest in your closet:
11. You’re holding someone hostage:
Jason Valdez held a woman hostage for 16 hours in a hotel room in Utah and basically live-blogged the entire thing on Facebook.
14. Your friend is passed out drunk in the snow:
16. You’re on the toilet:
17. You’re on the toilet and need toilet paper:
18. You’re with someone you’re Facebook friends with:
21. You just stole someone’s phone:
This man broke into someone’s car and stole their cellphone.
According to police, “The suspect apparently took a picture of himself on the victim’s phone, and due to her settings, it automatically uploaded to her Facebook page.”
He was caught shortly after.
23. You just had sex:
24. You just burned your vagina:
25. You’re leaving completely pointless comments:
26. You’re sniffing gasoline:
- Planned Parenthood officials said they believed Friday's shooting at a Colorado Springs clinic was motivated by opposition to abortion. ›
- Kobe Bryant wrote a poem announcing that he's retiring from professional basketball at the end of this season 🏀🎭 ›
- And Adele's "25" has sold a record 3.38 million copies in the U.S. in its first full week, Nielsen Music reported 🎤🏆 ›