1. JESUS CHRIST. Look how dorky and weird and hideous and untouchable you were!
2. LOL YOU WERE SO WEIRD AND UGLY!!!!!
3. There is like a 0% chance ANYONE would ever talk to you. You are destined to a life of solitude with a falafel sandwich on your head!
4. JK BECAUSE YOU ARE ACTUALLY REALLY, REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
5. All you had to do was pluck your eyebrows and take off your glasses, duh!
6. Now this guy…
7. Literally the hottest guy on the planet in 1999…
8. FREDDIE FUCKING PRINZE JR.
9. *LITERALLY WET RIGHT NOW*
10. Sooo, get this, he wants to take you to prom. It’s a bet, but who cares because it’s FREDDIE FUCKING PRINZE JR.
11. He doesn’t even care that you’re a dumpy loser with ugly glasses and bushy eyebrows!
13. He takes you to the beach with his friends Paul Walker and Lil’ Kim.
14. AND YOU WEAR A ONE-PIECE. HA HA YOU ARE SO DUMB.
17. Then he watches you paint. You paint because you’re really weird.
18. THEN HE KISSES YOU. LIKE WHAT?!?!?!
19. FREDDIE PRINZE JR. is really starting to like you. He’s even willing to get in a fight with Paul Walker over you.
20. Aw. He’s in love. He totally wants to take you to prom!
21. JUST KIDDING YOU WERE A BET AND YOU WENT WITH PAUL WALKER AND LEFT. Meanwhile, FREDDIE PRINZE JR. has a miserable time and realizes how shitty he was.
22. Oh yeah, Usher is the DJ because that’s totally realistic.
24. It’s no big deal. Totally normal.
25. So then he leaves prom. You’re at home. You decided not to go. FREDDIE PRINZE JR. is basically in love with you.
30. Life is cruel. Your prom was lame. Freddie Prinze Jr. will never be at your graduation wearing a volleyball.
- Republican John Kasich and Democrat Bernie Sanders won the first votes of the New Hampshire presidential primary. Polls close at 7 p.m. ET 🇺🇸
- At least 9 people are dead and 150 others injured after two trains collided in Bavaria, Germany, local police say.
- The Pentagon has confirmed that North Korea successfully launched a satellite into orbit on Sunday night.