36 Reasons New York Is The Wisest Person To Ever Set Foot On Earth

This is a place for everyone who has been positively influenced by the one and only true queen: New York.

1. Long, long ago, in 2007, the world was #blessed when a woman by the name of Miss Tiffany Pollard came into our lives. She would go by the name of “New York.”

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2. New York was a legendary icon. Until that time in history, mid-2007 to be exact, there had been no person as insightful and smart. She was, in a word, “enlightened.”

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3. No one messed with New York.

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4. Also no one ever made her wait.

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5. Legend has it, New York was put on this planet to educate the human race.

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6. Humanity needed her. And this is her story.

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7. First of all, New York was always in the know.

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8. Everywhere she went, she made an entrance.

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9. New York never made mistakes because she was God.

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10. If you crossed her, she would threaten and intimidate you.

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11. Knives were her choice weapon.

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12. Words were another weapon she used quite well.

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13. New York had mythical powers. She could spot a big dick from a mile away.

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14. Also plastic hair.

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15. What a powerful heart she had.

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16. People would try to talk behind her back, but New York would always find out.

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17. Loud packs of idiot bitches never got the best of her.

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18. And if your name was Pumkin, forget about it.

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She told the #truth. “Get a fucking facelift,” she would say.

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19. “I’ll piss on your grave.”

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20. “Soldiers cry and dogs cry and I cry. We cry. We all fucking cry.”

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21. And most importantly…

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“You fucking look like Luther Vandross.”

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22. New York believed no one should ever feel shamed by the amount they drink.

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23. In fact, she was an advocate for the stuff.

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24. Always be drinking.

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25. She also loved to eat.

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26. Unfortunately, this meant she often ended up in a “food coma.”

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27. New York was also an advocate for dick.

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28. Men were her toys.

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29. She preferred thugs who drank a lot and wore baggy clothes.

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30. She taught us that if you see a man that looks like a pinto bean — then tell him he looks like a pinto bean.

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31. Another thing about New York was that she needed her beauty sleep.

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32. If you were shit, she wanted you to feel like it.

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33. And if your breath smelled like shit, she wanted you to know that too.

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34. She was put here to teach us. We were dumb. She was our teacher.

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35. Most importantly, she will be remembered for being fucking fabulous.

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There were never be another.

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Thank you, New York.

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Thanks to realitytvgifs and nyisinthehouse for a bunch of these gifs.

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PS: New York is still alive. She has a new VH1 reality show coming out later this year (!!!!).

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