Woodstock '94 was fine, whatever.
Woodstock '99 was a gross shit-show disaster.
At the time, MTV said, and I quote: "The air smelled of burning garbage, as well as urine and feces."
And with news that Woodstock is coming back for the 50th anniversary this year, I thought it was fitting to revisit the original Woodstock.
It's time #Woodstock50☮️♥️🎵
1. The first Woodstock took place over 3 days in August 1969.
2. 50,000 people were expected...but nearly 1 million showed up.
3. Like people were sleeping in cemeteries.
4. But, somehow, SOMEHOW, it didn't devolve into a Fyre Fest shit storm.
5. Everyone was naked, and also pretty hot.
6. Naked...and hot.
7. There were hippies on poles.
8. Hippies on cars.
9. Hippies making hot dogs.
10. Hippies strung out under umbrellas.
11. Hippies sleeping on cars.
12. Hippies feeding babies watermelon.
13. Hippies cleaning up trash.
14. Just so many hippies.
15. Everyone looked like they worked at Urban Outfitters.
16. *Glares at you while you shop*
17. Everyone looked like what the people who go to Coachella aspire to look like...
18. ...except these people didn't go for new content for their Instagrams.
19. Vanessa Hudgens wishes.
20. Shia LaBeouf could only hope.
21. There were weed stands.
22. There were dirty toe rings.
23. Cool hats.
24. Jeans for $5.
25. Have I mentioned all the hot naked people?
26. Volunteers were making food for everyone.
27. This man put a chair on his head.
28. She got stuck in mud.
29. In an impressive display of teamwork and grace, these people balanced cardboard on their heads.
30. A woman that literally could be from 2019.
31. Basically, this *might* be the only time in history a music festival was cool.
32. The one, the only, the legendary: Woodstock '69.
33. Instagram ruins everything. The end.
