1. A man brought a shovel to a gunfight and won.
2. Some guy who owns a lizard shop beat one of his employees with one of his lizards.
3. This man wearing a "No, seriously, I have drugs." shirt was arrested at K-Mart with drugs.
4. This man shook his penis in a circular motion at oncoming traffic.
5. A man carried a marijuana plant in a red Solo cup down the street and said he was "simply smelling it."
6. A family was forced to remove their time machine from their driveway.
7. A naked man slept on dog beds at CVS.
8. Bigfoot was spotted bathing.
9. All of this.
10. A man threatened to blow up a strip club because he couldn't bring his beer in.
11. An emu went missing.
12. A guy found a $3 million lottery ticket in his dog's Christmas stocking.
13. A man tossed his bag of cocaine onto the hood of a cop car.
14. A man tried to stab his brother over dog treats.
15. A man beat his 75-year-old neighbor with a baseball bat because he cut his nails outside his apartment.
16. A guy with a spiderweb cheek tattoo attacked his brother over bed sheets.
17. This man was arrested for almost cutting his roommate's ear off with a sword over a wash cloth.
18. A man cut another man and claimed it was because he was making a "blood brother pact."
19. A man covered his face in ashes, stole a car, and crashed it for some reason.
20. And that woman with "3 boobs" made a music video.
H/t the Florida Man Twitter and the Florida Man Reddit.