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It’s Time To Recognize That “Selena” Is The Most Important Biopic Of All Time

And you know it!

1. Dear friends, it’s time to cut the shit and talk about something really, truly important that hasn’t gotten the praise it deserves. That thing is the cinematic classic and grossly underrated film known as Selena.

Warner Bros / Via bonjourarmand.tumblr.com

2. Selena is important for nearly infinite reasons. Not only is it Jennifer Lopez’s crowning, iconic achievement, but it’s also the greatest biopic of all time. Yes, you read that correctly — it is THE GREATEST BIOPIC OF ALL TIME.

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

3. First off, let’s talk about how crazy insanely similar Jennifer Lopez looked to the one true queen, Selena Quintanilla-Pérez.

4. Like how even? Is this voodoo? Were there witch doctors involved? How?

5. But nope, it’s not just that Jennifer Lopez looked straight up clone-like similar to Selena. It’s that J.Lo acted the fuck out of this role!

6. Before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s begin at the beginning with mini-Selena.

7. Mini-Selena’s performance was subtle perfection. A dreamer at heart, mini-Selena got it. She was definitely a passable mini copy of the larger, older Selena.

Warner Bros. / Via sailorluna.tumblr.com

8. Also this quote is IT:

9. “Selena! What are you doing here?… I’m looking up at the moon and I’m dreaming… It’s like when I’m up onstage, I feel like I can be anything I want to be.”

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

10. This is also when we’re introduced to Selena’s asshole-esque stage dad. He did a great job of playing a controlling asshole stage dad that made his kids live out his dreams for him. His tinted glasses helped. Great styling here!

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

11. So yeah, they grow up and mini-Selena turns into larger Selena, aka Jennifer Lopez. We meet the fam.

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

12. We fall in love with her sister. Those overalls and denim hat. A supremely underrated minor character.

Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com

13. Then we get our first truly great musical moment: Selena singing the cumbia medley. This is so important.

14. At this same time, Selena’s father says one of the movie’s most crucial quotes…

Warner Bros. / Via weheartit.com

15. It goes like this:


Father Selena: You were out there wearing a bra!
Selena Quintanilla: It’s not a bra, it’s a bustier!
Father Selena: It’s a bra with little sprinkly things on it!

16. So then, as you know, Selena’s career skyrockets and the movie really gets into gear. Like it gets really really good. I mean, look at those facial expressions. THE ACTING, PEOPLE. THE ACTING!

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

17. Jennifer Lopez’s performance of “Como la Flor” is worthy of an Academy Award in and of itself. The iconicness!

18. And the whisper. Do you die every time?

Warner Bros. / Via bonjourarmand.tumblr.com

19. So yeah, I’m also forgetting about her ponytailed BF Chris. The sweet bad boy who catches you off guard. He taught us just because you have a ponytail doesn’t make you a bad guy!

Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com

20. Chris causes drama. Jennifer acts. It’s all good. The raw emotion in these scenes is real. You can feel it.

Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com

21. On to another extraordinary performance. Ladies and gentlemen, “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom.”

22. The cap, the hoop earrings, the STUDDED BUSTIER. Jesus, it’s perfect.

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

23. And here’s what you’ve been waiting for, “Salinas.” The most pivotal, noteworthy, and essential word in the movie.

Warner Bros. / Via weheartit.com

24. So so legendary.

Warner Bros. / Via alli-i.tumblr.com

25. Then there’s this scene with that wack ass woman who is rude and racist as hell to Selena.

Warner Bros. / Via rebloggy.com

26. Like, what, do you even know who you’re talking to?

Warner Bros. / Via rebloggy.com

27. Obviously not.

Warner Bros. / Via rebloggy.com

28. Got you bye.

Warner Bros. / Via rebloggy.com

29. OK so love flourishes. A true love story! The movie moves really fast. Selena is owning. it.

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

30. Get that Grammy.

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

31. Learn that español.

Warner Bros. / Via weheartit.com

32. Record those massive hits.

Warner Bros. / Via facebook.com

33. And it all culminates in this calming, chill recording of “I Could Fall In Love.” Chills. So many chills.

34. Then we meet this evil, soulless, jealous, insane fan club president nightmare, Yolanda. We’re not wasting any time on this waste of space. The inevitable happens.

Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com

35. And the ending. That ending. The tears. The candles. The vigil. Oof. Painful. The most important movie ending of our time!

36. That rose. This movie. The tears. It’s all perfect. Best biopic of all time.

Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com

37. Thank you, Jennifer. Thank you.

Warner Bros. / Via itsthesuckzone.tumblr.com

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