1. Dear friends, it’s time to cut the shit and talk about something really, truly important that hasn’t gotten the praise it deserves. That thing is the cinematic classic and grossly underrated film known as Selena.
2. Selena is important for nearly infinite reasons. Not only is it Jennifer Lopez’s crowning, iconic achievement, but it’s also the greatest biopic of all time. Yes, you read that correctly — it is THE GREATEST BIOPIC OF ALL TIME.
3. First off, let’s talk about how crazy insanely similar Jennifer Lopez looked to the one true queen, Selena Quintanilla-Pérez.
4. Like how even? Is this voodoo? Were there witch doctors involved? How?
5. But nope, it’s not just that Jennifer Lopez looked straight up clone-like similar to Selena. It’s that J.Lo acted the fuck out of this role!
6. Before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s begin at the beginning with mini-Selena.
7. Mini-Selena’s performance was subtle perfection. A dreamer at heart, mini-Selena got it. She was definitely a passable mini copy of the larger, older Selena.
8. Also this quote is IT:
9. “Selena! What are you doing here?… I’m looking up at the moon and I’m dreaming… It’s like when I’m up onstage, I feel like I can be anything I want to be.”
10. This is also when we’re introduced to Selena’s asshole-esque stage dad. He did a great job of playing a controlling asshole stage dad that made his kids live out his dreams for him. His tinted glasses helped. Great styling here!
11. So yeah, they grow up and mini-Selena turns into larger Selena, aka Jennifer Lopez. We meet the fam.
12. We fall in love with her sister. Those overalls and denim hat. A supremely underrated minor character.
13. Then we get our first truly great musical moment: Selena singing the cumbia medley. This is so important.
14. At this same time, Selena’s father says one of the movie’s most crucial quotes…
15. It goes like this:
Father Selena: You were out there wearing a bra!
Selena Quintanilla: It’s not a bra, it’s a bustier!
Father Selena: It’s a bra with little sprinkly things on it!