Amid a storm of allegations levied against Herman Cain, the American Mustache Institute today announced it had rescinded its endorsement for his presidential candidacy.
Now, sadly, the Mustached American community finds itself at a crossroads as Cain would have been the first Mustached American President of the United States since William Howard Taft left office in 1913, and the first major party presidential candidate of Mustached American heritage since Thomas E. Dewey in 1948.
But with the evidence of both pizza and mustache fraud (Godfather’s pizza uses fake meat), Dr. Froman and other members of the AMI administration said they could not in good conscience support his candidacy on behalf of the powerful Mustached American electorate.
“The truth of the matter is that we are the sharp end of the stick amongst our people,” said Dr. Michael Grubb, AMI’s Curator, National Mustache History Museum & Director of Mustache Analysis. “We’re going to have to poke a hole in his campaign.”