Heal Yourself With This Freddie Prinze Jr. Meditation Mantra

You probably need this right now.

1. Press play.

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2. Clear your mind. Forget about that time Freddie Prinze Jr. went blonde and wore alligator teeth chokers.

3. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Everything is beginning to get a little blurry. You are on a leather couch with the man, the myth, the legend: Freddie Prinze Jr.

4. Your mind wanders. You think about all of the woven, ribbed turtlenecks he went through.

5. So many sweaters.

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6. Stare at this picture. Question it. Question yourself. More importantly, question Freddie.

7. Now chant: “Why, Freddie, why?”

8. All together now: “WHY, FREDDIE, WHY? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!”

9. Cleanse yourself with this picture. You are born again.

10. That pout. He’s confused. You’re confused. Life is confusing. You can do it together.

11. *Breathe deep* … stare at his crotch… *Breathe deep*

12. Dwell on this quote. Embrace it. Be it.

13. Now laugh. That hair. HA HA HA HA!

14. Slip into those forehead wrinkles.

15. Cuddle underneath that armpit.

16. Blend into that wall.

17. Ah, everything is OK.

18. Press play. Ignore Jessica Biel.

19. Things are getting hotter…

20. Like, dangerously hot.

21. Now cool off. Feel that cold ocean water saturate your clothing.

On second thought, you probably shouldn’t do that. WHO WEARS A SUIT IN THE OCEAN?!

22. Dry up with this strange sepia tone.

23. Remember the time he shaved his head.

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

24. Unf.

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

25. THE GLASSES. Ugh. It’s almost too much.

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26. Those brown eyes. STAY WITH ME. FOCUS.

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27. THE POWER OF FREDDIE COMPELS YOU.

George De Sota / Getty Images

28. Remember the best part of She’s All That.

 

29. And lastly take pleasure in the fact that Freddie Prinze is now a huge DILF…

Handout / Getty Images

30. … and he wears the same pair of pants he had in 1999.

NAMASTE

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