2. Clear your mind. Forget about that time Freddie Prinze Jr. went blonde and wore alligator teeth chokers.
3. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Everything is beginning to get a little blurry. You are on a leather couch with the man, the myth, the legend: Freddie Prinze Jr.
4. Your mind wanders. You think about all of the woven, ribbed turtlenecks he went through.
5. So many sweaters.
6. Stare at this picture. Question it. Question yourself. More importantly, question Freddie.
8. All together now: “WHY, FREDDIE, WHY? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!”
9. Cleanse yourself with this picture. You are born again.
10. That pout. He’s confused. You’re confused. Life is confusing. You can do it together.
11. *Breathe deep* … stare at his crotch… *Breathe deep*
18. Press play. Ignore Jessica Biel.
21. Now cool off. Feel that cold ocean water saturate your clothing.
On second thought, you probably shouldn’t do that. WHO WEARS A SUIT IN THE OCEAN?!
23. Remember the time he shaved his head.
25. THE GLASSES. Ugh. It’s almost too much.
26. Those brown eyes. STAY WITH ME. FOCUS.
27. THE POWER OF FREDDIE COMPELS YOU.
29. And lastly take pleasure in the fact that Freddie Prinze is now a huge DILF…
30. … and he wears the same pair of pants he had in 1999.