Heal Yourself With This Freddie Prinze Jr. Meditation Mantra

You probably need this right now.

1. Press play.

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2. Clear your mind. Forget about that time Freddie Prinze Jr. went blonde and wore alligator teeth chokers.

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3. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Everything is beginning to get a little blurry. You are on a leather couch with the man, the myth, the legend: Freddie Prinze Jr.

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4. Your mind wanders. You think about all of the woven, ribbed turtlenecks he went through.

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5. So many sweaters.

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6. Stare at this picture. Question it. Question yourself. More importantly, question Freddie.

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7. Now chant: “Why, Freddie, why?”

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8. All together now: “WHY, FREDDIE, WHY? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!”

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9. Cleanse yourself with this picture. You are born again.

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10. That pout. He’s confused. You’re confused. Life is confusing. You can do it together.

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11. *Breathe deep* … stare at his crotch… *Breathe deep*

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12. Dwell on this quote. Embrace it. Be it.

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13. Now laugh. That hair. HA HA HA HA!

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14. Slip into those forehead wrinkles.

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15. Cuddle underneath that armpit.

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16. Blend into that wall.

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17. Ah, everything is OK.

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18. Press play. Ignore Jessica Biel.

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19. Things are getting hotter…

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20. Like, dangerously hot.

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21. Now cool off. Feel that cold ocean water saturate your clothing.

On second thought, you probably shouldn’t do that. WHO WEARS A SUIT IN THE OCEAN?!

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22. Dry up with this strange sepia tone.

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23. Remember the time he shaved his head.

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24. Unf.

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25. THE GLASSES. Ugh. It’s almost too much.

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26. Those brown eyes. STAY WITH ME. FOCUS.

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28. Remember the best part of She’s All That.

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29. And lastly take pleasure in the fact that Freddie Prinze is now a huge DILF…

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30. … and he wears the same pair of pants he had in 1999.

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