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25 Frightening Facts About White Guys With Dreads

Please read.

1. White guys with dreads are one of the most mystifying and bewildering creatures "functioning" in modern day society.

Carnivorous plants, birds that can't fly, white guys with dreadlocks...this world is full of some crazy shit.

2. Unfortunately, no one understands why they even exist.

3. For decades they've caused uneasiness and secondhand embarrassment to literally everyone around them.

I've always been freaked out by white guys with dreadlocks

4. That's because they challenge all human theory and common sense...

White guys with dreadlocks are somehow defying evolution.

5. ... are unjustifiably confident....

3 most confident types of people. 1) white guys with dreads 2) people who believe in aliens 3) guys who send dick pics

6. ...and somehow end up on every singing competition program.

White guys with dreads sure love tv singing competitions

7. You'll find them on Tinder...

This gem is from the tinder profile of a white guy with dreads

8. ...OkCupid...

picture this: white guy with dreads, smiling in a photo surrounded by young african children. yes this man just messaged me on okcupid

9. ...but mostly they thrive in places like San Francisco and Portland.

Spotted: white guy with dreads driving a Lexus. Hello San Francisco.

10. They ALL own hacky sacks...

Not every white guy who's good at hackysack has dreadlocks, but every white guy with dreadlocks is good at hackysack.

11. ...have a robust knowledge of tea...

Every time I see a white guy with dread locks, I think, "I bet that dude gives a fuck about teas."

12. ...and treat everything like a set of bongos.

a white guy with dreadlocks is playing the drums on his thighs

13. They know the 311 discography by heart...

Teacher says, every time a white guy grows dreadlocks an angel gets the 311 discography. #PrettySureThatsTheQuote #WonderfulLife

14. ...can play "Redemption Song"...

We get it, white guys with dreads. You can all play Redemption Song.

15. ...play the bass guitar...

Every time I see a white guy with dreads, my first thought is always "I bet he's amazing at bass guitar.".

16. ...and face some of the highest forms of workplace discrimination because they thought it was a good idea to get dreadlocks.

No one has ever looked at a white guy with dreads and said "That's the right guy for the job!" Ever.

17. But! Let's not be too judgmental. There are some good ones out there!

Saw a white guy on the subway with dreads wearing a suit jacket, shorts and jordans. I shall call him a humanicorn.

18. They can be put to good use.

If you have a fear of public speaking, imagine the crowd is just all white guys with dreadlocks

19. Like they're a good bet to sit by on public transportation.

The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted

20. They grant wishes.

If you see a white guy with dreads, close your eyes and make a wish.

21. Some are even self-aware!

Im a white guy with dreads who doesn't smoke loves punk plays in a metal band makes beard oil and i wear suits. Im a walking contradiction

22. And it's pretty fun just how cliché they can really be.

both white guys with dreads are missing from class today coincidence? i think not

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID...

23. Be careful.

Some white guy just accidentally hit me with his dreads

24. They are still white guys who thought it was a good idea to get dreads.

I just let a white guy with dreads fuck me lol

25. TO SUM EVERYTHING UP....

Just saw a white guy with dreadlocks holding a baby. I hope he doesn't make the same mistakes as his father :(

Have a good day! Stay safe out there, people.