30 Ways Growing Up With “Seinfeld” Totally Messed You Up

You are who you are because of Seinfeld. Sorry. posted on

30. You’re always talking about people behind their backs.

29. You are pathetic, and you don’t even care, even though you probably should.

28. You are always judging couples in public.

27. You basically hate everyone who is in a happy relationship.

26. You are constantly using this excuse.

25. You have a love–hate relationship with vending machines.

24. You take too many naps.

23. Not eating is never an option. If you don’t eat, you’re angry.

22. Food and sex = life.

21. You’re always questioning other people’s fashion choices.

20. You beat the shit out of ketchup bottles.

18. You are not you without it.

17. This is why you drink in public.

16. You understand the timeless art of seduction.

15. You’re living a lie or two or 20.

13. You constantly wonder what it’s like to be normal.

12. You love cheese almost a little too much.

11. You have at one time or other thought how cool it would be to open your own Moviefone business.

10. You end relationships over things like pie.

9. You don’t give a shit about what people think about you in public.

8. You look annoyed all the time on purpose.

7. Your ultimate dream job: bagel technician.

6. You don’t go outside nearly enough.

5. You realize that being a better you takes time. One small step at a time.

4. You are really good at fake talking.

3. You wear your emotions on your sleeve.

2. You are, in general, sick of people.

1. And most importantly, you’ll never buy a puffy jacket because you know everyone will punch you when you wear it.

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