The Ultimate Ode To Turtlenecks

Screw sweater season. It’s turtleneck time, bitches.

1. It’s that time of the year again…

2. When the brisk winter air starts giving you the shivers…

3. So you reach for your favorite turtleneck…

5. Because it makes you smile…

8. And, I don’t know how to put this, but kinda like a big deal.

9. But be careful. Even though turtlenecks are warm…

10. Sometimes it’s simply hard not to look like an asshole.

11. Bieber couldn’t pull it off…

12. Neither could James McAvoy…

13. Or that girl from “Revenge.”

14. Even young Jake Gyllenhaal looked a little awkward.

15. You need to choose wisely.

16. Don’t force it!

17. Always ask yourself: What would Michael Fassbender do?

18. Or any fashion icon who rocked the turtleneck?

Phil Stern / Via

19. Audrey Hepburn made it timeless.

20. Hemingway made it look badass.

21. Marilyn made it sexy.

22. Steve Jobs made it his trademark.

23. Keaton made it quirky.

24. And Jack brought it to the golf course.

26. The right turtleneck can make you a bad mother, shut your mouth…

27. The wrong one can make you look like this:

28. But don’t forget, turtlenecks can also be fun!

29. You can wear them to holiday parties.

30. In music videos!

31. To the ballpark!

32. Even on album covers!

33. Because they’re so damn versatile…

37. It even makes these ferrets look fly as hell.

38. Turtlenecks will never give up on your warmth

39. Playing the bongos on a cold day? Your turtleneck will be there.

40. Visiting Stonehenge in February? Your neck is protected.

41. Don’t let society make you think you look like a soccer mom…

42. Or a part of The Situation’s family portrait.

43. Start the revolution…

45. Wear your turtleneck with pride!

46. Just don’t wear this one…

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Senior Editor, Former Owner of a '91 Buick Century
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