2. This picture of David Wright and Jose Reyes exists.
3. We’re always a punch line.
4. The Mets were the villians in every early ’90s baseball movie.
5. Chris Brown wears Mets gear.
6. Lady Gaga gives us the finger.
7. After the All-Star break, our season rarely matters.
8. Our second baseman wears flip-flops when he goes bowling.
9. These jerseys are only one “s” away from “Loss Mets.”
10. Keith Hernandez got so bored last season, he shaved his mustache.
He looks like a a powerless child.
13. We moved Jose Reyes to second base to appease Kaz Matsui.
14. The highest-paid outfielder for the Mets this season is Jason Bay.
Jason Bay, who was cut by the Mets this past off-season, will continue to earn his full $16 million salary for the 2013 season.
15. The second highest-paid outfielder is Bobby Bonilla.
Bobby Bonilla, who last played for the Mets in 1999 and retired from baseball in 2001, will make $1,193,248.20 this season and every subsequent season for the next 25 years.
16. This is the actual 2013 Mets starting outfield.
I’m pretty sure they’re giving away opening-day tickets for people who can name all three.
17. Our doctors are the WORST in professional sports.
Remember when Ike Davis missed a whole season after turning his ankle? Or every misdiagnosis of Jose Reyes?
18. Mr. and Mrs. Met got divorced in real life.
The people behind the costumes got married in the mid-1970s but got divorced after 25 years together.
19. “Who Let the Mets Out”
22. Steve Phillips’ tenure as general manager.
24. We share a city with these guys.
25. Even when we’re really good, it’s easy to make fun of us.
This was actually the best infield in MLB history.
26. Carlos Beltran keeping his bat on his shoulder.
27. This is how we dress for games in September.
Notice the availability of great seats!
29. Even our first no-hitter in franchise history was tainted.
30. Fred Wilpon.
31. We are constantly forced to question God’s existence.
32. This is how we spend our summer nights.
33. And no matter how bad it gets…
We just can’t help ourselves.
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