1. He’d make sure all your most embarassing moments are documented.
6. He’d demonstrate how to be passionate about the important things in life.
9. Because he knows there is no problem in celebrating your own success.
Yep, that’s Tom taping his Golden Globe award to his limo — and no it’s not cocky, it’s called being a boss. Speaking of bosses — he’s also friends with Bruce Springsteen.
10. He’d help you open your heart and mind to new relationships.
11. He’s a distant relative of Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah, our new best friend is a third cousin, four times removed from Honest Abe.
15. He would get you interested in cool vintage things like typewriters.
16. And be your ultimate pen pal.
Back in 2012, the people at Nerdist invited the World’s Most Amazing Man to be on their podcast by way of bribing him with a sweet-ass typewriter. He responded to the request with this hilariously clever letter.
18. He would always throw the greatest costume parties.
Just call him T-Killa Hanx.
19. He would push you to realize your potential in life — and ping pong.
20. You could help him prepare for movie roles.
When Hanks was filming A League Of Their Own, he needed to gain 30 lbs. — he accomplished his goal mostly with ice cream. Last year, Hanks announced that he has type 2 diabetes — so now you get to eat all the ice cream.
21. And he’d give you awesome gifts — just because.
Yeah, because he’s the MOST THOUGHTFUL man to grace our nation’s capital.
22. He would make sure you remember the importance of family.
This is a picture Hanks tweeted out of his family watching the USA—Belgium World Cup game — like a true American.