1. Because drinking out of a gasoline container in frowned upon on the other 364 days of the year.
4. Because it’s a day to celebrate with all things America, like (un)nessecary profanity…
14. It’s the one day of the year when you can bother this man for directions.
18. And clear your schedule…
Senior Editor, Former Owner of a '91 Buick Century
Here Are The Top Stories
- Boston is no longer pursuing a bid to host the 2024 summer Olympics.
- The Arizona Cardinals have hired the NFL's first female coach.