16. Bill Belichick.
It feels wrong to see a Santa suit photoshopped on the NFL’s most notorious curmudgeon. How do you measure the jolliness of a man who smiles once a year? You don’t.
15. Kobe Bryant.
For someone with such a winning smile, it’s unfortunate that his competitive drive will never allow him to experience true joy.
14. Santonio Holmes.
Holmes is a perpetual malcontent. He complains about everything on and off the field. He doesn’t get the ball enough. He’s always injured. He disagrees with coaches. He has the reputation of being a quarterback killer. Not exactly the kind of person that spreads cheer to everyone he meets.
13. Monta Ellis.
Ellis has never seen a shot he didn’t like or a teammate he’d like to pass to. This isn’t the kind of selfless behavior you expect from Santa Claus.
12. John Kruk.
The Baseball Tonight analyst certainly has the size of jolly old Saint Nick, but his demeanor still leaves a bit to be desired. He does get bonus points for his flawless mullet from his playing days.
11. Tommy Lasorda.
Confused? Yes. Jolly? No.
10. Daniel Murphy.
The Mets second baseman may play for a loser, but he’s the ultimate team player for defeating the Mets curse of Kris Kringle.
9. Barry Melrose.
If he brings one-eighth of the enthusiasm he has for hockey highlights to his Christmas spirit, Melrose would be brimming in jolliness.
8. DeMarcus Cousins.
Cousins has a reputation for being a bad boy on the court. He frequently has a scowl on his face and refuses to shake hands with other teams. However, watch this video of Cousins giving away a Christmas shopping spree and tell me he isn’t jolly.
7. Chris Anderson.
Nothing says Christmas like a tattooed former drug addict rocking stunner shades and a mohawk telling kids to rock on.
5. Aaron Rodgers.
Rodgers would be higher on this list, but his injury problems are making everyone grumpy. His photobomb game is on point though.
4. Charles Barkley.
Because he’s just a knucklehead with no filter and a heart of gold.
2. Shaquille O’Neal.
Because I’m not entirely convinced Shaq isn’t Santa Claus.
1. Babe Ruth.
Do I even have to explain?