Inanimate Object, Mascot, “Nobody” Finish High In Marlins Face-Of-The-Franchise Poll

Miami’s branding efforts aren’t going so well.

The Miami Marlins may not have the worst record in baseball, but they’re certainly its most depressing franchise. Merely a year ago they had so much promise. Today they are the George Costanza of the MLB. With the exception of Giancarlo Stanton and Jose Fernandez, they have no prospects, nothing on the horizon and no conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning. This poll from the MLB Network says it all.

Let’s take a quick look at these candidates.

4. Giancarlo Stanton — 49%

Dilip Vishwanat / Getty Images

The overwhelming leading vote-getter to be the face of the franchise most likely will be traded for prospects within a year or so. And only started going by “Giancarlo” instead of “Mike” last year.

5. Jeffery Loria — 14%

Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images

The Marlins owner might as well be the devil in South Florida. Recently he’s fired Joe Girardi the same season Girardi won the Manager of the Year award, badgered taxpayers to help build a $634 million ballpark and then traded away all the players they would conceivably pay to come see in said ballpark.

6. Billy the Marlin — 8%

Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images

Yep, the Marlins are in such dire straights that the third choice to be the face of the organization is their mascot.

7. Toronto Blue Jays — 6%

 

A cheeky choice by the MLB Network to include the Blue Jays in the poll — last offseason the Marlins traded All-Stars Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Josh Johnson to Toronto.

8. Centerfield Statue — 5%

Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images

The No. 5 vote-getter is an inanimate object.

9. Nobody — 4%

Fans voted for nobody rather than ANY non-Stanton player currently on the team.

10. Juan Pierre — 3%

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The second current player to appear on the list is a 35-year-old journeyman singles hitter whose best years are behind him.

11. Logan Morrison — 2%

Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images

Morrison is known more for his social media presence than his on-field performance.

12. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2013 Miami Marlins…

Get ‘em while they’re hot, guys!

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