25. Quintin Berry
Being dead last on the most important list in sports is nothing to smile about, Quintin.
24. Koji Uehara
If you look really closely you can see a very faint outline of a possible mustache.
23. Jake Peavy
Well, this is just disappointing.
22. Junichi Tazawa
Making a conscious choice to rock just chin hair is rarely a good decision.
21. Xander Bogaerts
Good job. Good effort.
20. Daniel Nava
Scruff just says he has commitment issues.
19. Franklin Morales
Classic chinstrap. Nothing to see here.
18. Felix Doubront
More developed chinstrap, but still merely a chinstrap.
17. Jon Lester
16. Shane Victorino
The flyin’ Hawaiian, everyone.
15. Clay Buchholz
Hide your laptops, middle schoolers. Hide your middle schoolers, parents.
14. Will Middlebrooks
Good name. Strong facial hair.
13. Jacoby Ellsbury
A burly man goatee from a speedy outfielder? I must be seeing things.
12. Stephen Drew
Well groomed. Good color. Goes high on the cheekbone. Classic.
11. Brandon Workman
His name is Workman and he’s a relief pitcher with a beard.
10. David Ortiz
9. Craig Breslow
Nothing to see here EXCEPT another fantastic relief pitcher beard.
8. Mike Carp
7. David Ross
Old man beard!
6. Ryan Dempster
Ryan Dempster’s tombstone will read. “Thrower of baseball. Contestant on the ESPN game show Teammates. Owner of flawless beard.”
5. Jarrod Saltalamacchia
He would have been higher on this list, but I hate having to spell his name. Blame the Saltylamackyia family.
4. John Lackey
It’s no secret that Lackey’s return to form is due to that mean-ass beard.
3. Jonny Gomes
You don’t want to encounter this beard in dark alley, or a florist for that matter.
2. Dustin Pedroia
Little man. Big beard. Voted beard most likely to inspire a teenager to want a beard.
1. Mike Napoli
“And on the 8th day God bestowed Mike Napoli with the facial hair. ” — Genesis: 2:4