missyd4
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    • missyd4

      It’s none of your business. And “of course I’m really happy for this mother.” No you aren’t. If you were genuinely happy for her, you wouldn’t post such a cruel comment on something she can likely see. People who are truly happen for someone may have certain thoughts in their head like “This couple barely has a penny to their name, why are they having kids?” But they certainly wouldn’t say them. Don’t say that you’re happy for someone just because you think it sounds less harsh or prevent people from being offended by your comment. You basically just said they made a terrible choice by having a child because the child will have an impairment. Well guess what? I have serious kidney problems, have lost one already & have one slowly failing now, & have had over 20 surgeries from 2011-2012. But I’m still glad I got the chance to live at all!

    • missyd4

      I cannot believe all the mud being slung at Tom for this. Sure, his agent should not have been the one to drop the bomb, but NO ONE should have to do anything they don’t want to do with their lives. Making music out of obligation when he doesn’t even want to would be completely disingenuous. Isn’t that a mark of a true poser? Someone who does something to please others that is inauthentic and not what they actually genuinely want to do/should be doing? Someone who does things/acts in a way that differs from who they truly are? And you think Tom DeLonge OWES you something?! You think he got famous because of YOU? He got famous because he put out music that was loved. And yes, if you didn’t all love it, he wouldn’t have been famous. But if he didn’t put all he had into making music and didn’t make those albums in the first place you would have never had the privilege of loving his music at all.  And just because he no longer wants to make music with Blink 182 - or wants to take a temporary hiatus (none of us knows his true intent) - doesn’t mean he is ungrateful of all the support his fans have given him over the years. The only thing he is guilty of is being disrespectful and inconsiderate toward his bandmates - and we have ALL been disrespectful or inconsiderate at some point in our lives. The only difference is we’re not under a microscope. You say you were/are his fans. No you’re not! If you were actually his fans you would want him to do what makes him happy, not do what makes YOU happy. Why would you want somebody to make music that they don’t even want to make? Labels pressure the shit out of artists to make music they don’t want to make all the time. We think it’s bullshit when labels do that or when labels force artists to do things under contractual obligations rather than because the artists genuinely want to create their “art” (and yes, all music is art, whether you like it or not) so what gives you, the fans, the right to demand artists do what you say? Dude is almost 40! Very few bands last forever. And most of the bands who have lasted decades and decades should have stopped making music a long time ago in terms of quality. He owes his bandmates an apology, sure. But he doesn’t owe you or I shit!

    • missyd4

      Okay… I get that some of this is funny. But her mother seems like she has horrible values. “You can look sexy even when you’re sick.” If my mother tried to tell me any of that while I was sick with a failing kidney, I would have punched her. And I love my mother.  Also “Your hair is thinning. Go to the salon and get extensions… Skinny body, thick hair.” Ummm. A) Extensions are insanely expensive so I take it the mother is rich. She seems incredibly superficial. This is very funny to read, but very scary that she’s an actual person seriously meaning these things.

    • missyd4

      Also just saw comments of people saying “You should TOTALLY live with someone before you marry them.” And “Why would you ever need to ask permission to marry somebody?” Well, good for you if that’s how you feel about living together. But that isn’t always possible for some people and some people still want a little mystery between them and that’s fine too. I know couples who lived together before they got married and that was fine for them. I also know couples who didn’t. The people who didn’t seemed to feel that marriage was a big, exciting change and the people who did lived together seemed to feel like it was no big deal as nothing changed anyway. That’s cool too. It’s about what works for YOU. Stop judging others. As for the permission aspect, no one should ever HAVE to seek the permission from someone’s parents. You should be able to marry whoever you want and your parents should respect that. But in my case, even though my parents would want me to be happy and make my own decisions, it’s a respect/consideration thing to ask permission beforehand. I don’t know if my other siblings had someone ask my parents or asked their father or mother in law, but for me, I’m the youngest of the family & happen to be a girl. However, both my stepdad and dad raised me and both would appreciate being asked. Even if my parents say no, I’d want the guy to ask anyway, because my parents and I have different perspectives (for example I am nearly 28 and just got in trouble last night for posting a Chris Rock quote with an F bomb. Hahahaha. Dad said one day I’d regret using such language. I said “Maybe” even though I know I won’t give a shit.) But it’s a respect thing that I hear him out, say maybe he is right, consider it. Then I do my own thing.  Generally, if my parents feel so strongly that I shouldn’t be marrying someone, we probably have the same concerns. But you never know. Ultimately asking permission for them isn’t really needing permission, it’s saying, “I realize this is your last unmarried child and youngest daughter. It matters to me what you think. I want you to know I respect you.” And that’s beautiful to me.

    • missyd4

      Also weird - the heterosexual question about “Who should pick out the ring” was super traditional (women want the man to pick it out & don’t want to see it beforehand, generally) but with gay people we choose that they shouldn’t have such silly stereotypes as gender roles within their relationships, ie the “‘manish one buying the ring for the girly one”.  Why do we expect that gay and queer people shouldn’t be bogged down by tradition but heterosexual people should be? Just a weird double standard. Again, do what works for YOU. Let everyone else do what works for THEM.

    • missyd4

      Furthermore, I didn’t like this poll because one question would be about what works for you, and then the other question in a poll would be about what works for other couples, which you don’t get to decide. Like “Would you share your engagement on Facebook.” Options are “Yes, I want everyone else to know I am engaged!” Or “No, that’s a private movement between two people .” Well, it may be private for YOU. But I can totally understand someone else wanting to share anything joyful or positive on Facebook or Social Media. The same thing with the public proposals. It suggests that people who propose in public are somehow less sincere.  Just focus on doing what works for YOU.

    • missyd4

      Okay REALLY important. If somebody doesn’t want to get married and makes that clear, DO NOT stick around hoping you can change their mind. Have you ever even seen “He’s Just Not Into You”? Well that applies. He may love you & sincerely never want to get married. But only ONE time out of 100 will sticking around work. You are 99% likely to be the rule - NOT the exception. In most cases, you just end up wasting years of your life. I was dating someone I was crazy about for 6 months and marriage came up as a random conversation, and he said he couldn’t ever see himself getting married. Personally, I value marriage. Yes it may be a piece of paper to some people, but to others, like me, it’s a whole lot more than that. And that’s okay.  He broke up with me because he knew he would never be able to give me what I want. It broke my heart but at the same time, I don’t want to waste years with a person (especially now that I’m nearly 30) when our core beliefs are so vastly different. It’s like sticking with somebody who wants kids and you don’t.  No one should have to compromise on something they feel so strongly about.

    • missyd4

      You have no idea if this was an iPhone or just another phone…and most likely it was his PARENTS’ phone. As much as spending tons of money on your kids’ phone is crazy because they WILL wreck it and/or loose it, kids having access to technology and communication devices improves child safety SOOOO much. SOOOO much. If every kid had a phone (not saying they should) but if they did, their parents could call and say “I’m running late to pick you up from school” or “Your grandma’s coming to get you.” And if a stranger came up to the kid saying “Your mom sent me to pick you up because she is busy”, the kid could just say “Let me verify that with my mom” or “No she didn’t, I just talked to her” and/or run away screaming. That’s one small example of how technology can benefit kids. An IPhone or iPad is a bit much, yes. But you have no clue what the kid’s using to record it!

    • missyd4

      10 years ago I helped my sister run a “wine and cheese night” at a retirement home. A gentleman there had no family who came by, but one had of his grand kids had written him a letter. He kept it in his pocket and asked me to read it to him 5 times that night, because it meant so much to him. My own grandma got ALS when I was 15. She was once a painter, knitter, sewer, baker and crafter. She became so ill she could no longer do any of those things, and could only speak through a special “computer” - and this was back in 2003 when those devices were still shit. I couldn’t bring myself to see her most times because she was so sick. It just killed me. And then, she died. And suddenly I wished I saw her every day, even if we stood and said nothing. And now I’m crying. I hate myself for not valuing every second we had together while we had it. You have broken a lot of hearts with this horrific “joke.”

    • missyd4

      Also, for the last few months I have been carrying for a 94 year old man from my parents’ church. He is a retired pastor who has spent his entire life giving to people. He even wrote a book in his 80s. He lost his wife six months ago and still gets choked up when he talks about her. He is going to a retirement home on Monday and can’t take his dog, so I’m taking the dog. He wears diapers (because he’s 94, come on.) And sometimes he has accidents. Sometimes I come in and have to clean up poop from his clothes, the bed, the toilet bowl, the toilet flushing handle, all over. And I am HONOURED to do it.  He not only served people at several churches, he’s also a Vet. And he deserves every ounce of respect I can give him. He is so appreciative of what I do. I am there 7 days a week. And I get paid by the family, although it’s peanuts compared to my old salary. But I don’t care. I am GLAD to serve him. Maybe if you ever gave back to the elderly, you would learn their value. I am a highly imperfect person and I am not saying this to toot my own horn. I am saying this because I have learned in the last 10 years just how special these people are - as well as how utterly forgotten they are. It’s heartbreaking to see something like this.

    • missyd4

      I get that this is a joke. My grandma herself used to joke all the time about being old. I’d say, “Why don’t you hang out with your friends?” And she’d say, “I’d like to Missy but they’re all dead!” And then we’d laugh. But this is just horrible. Horrible. It’s not funny to treat your grandparents like all they are good for is a will and money or that they’re going to die soon. Maybe if you actually lost your grandparents that you were close with, respected & loved, you would understand why there is an overwhelmingly negative reaction in the comments. Shameful.

    • missyd4

      It is absolutely terrifying that most millennials (and I classify as a millennial on the tail end, so I’m talking about myself and my friends too) care more about One Direction dude’s haircut or Sia’s new music video with that little girl and Shia LaBeouf than the environment, our non-renewable resources, foreign policy, the Charlie Hebdo attack, Ebola in Africa, etc.  Then again, to be fair, I am SO GLAD I didn’t have social media as a teen! I had MySpace from 16-19, but I didn’t use it at all in the same way people today use it.  Had I had Instagram as a teen, there would likely be photos of my autographed butt pressed up against the window of the Adams Mark Hotel in Buffalo! Photos exist, but I ain’t never scanning them in! Haha man. It’s a weird, scary world out there when shit like this deserves a news article. I loved JTT as a kid, but I didn’t freak out when he cut his hair.

    • missyd4

      There are many photos of this hair on him. It is indeed his real hair, that, thanks to the magic of Hollyweird, rarely ever emerges. And who cares if this is his real hair or he covers it up? Just as women wear push up bras with extra padding and put in extensions or shave their head for a role, men get hair transplants and do all kinds of physical “enhancements”. So really not a big deal. What DOES make me wonder about this article is why John Travolta walked up to this man out of the blue and began asking so many personal questions. It’s very unusual for a celebrity to do that, especially one as mega-famous as Travolta. Maybe he was just being friendly since they were the only two at the gym, and he likely went to the gym around 3:00am to avoid lots of people bothering him while he worked out - but due to the persistent gay rumours, it almost seems like Travolta was trying to feel this guy out & see if there might be a connection. That is pure speculation and I have NO problem with him or anyone else having a sexual preference or orientation apart from heterosexuality. However, how often do celebrities walk right up to YOU and want to get to know YOU? Just seems like it may not have been totally innocent. But again, that’s just my impression and I wasn’t there, and I have a vivid imagination! Haha

    • missyd4

      It is SO RUDE that people are clicking “Fail” or “WTF” or “TRASHY” on this, and telling the author of this post how stupid he is for his beliefs. In society, we are constantly hearing from LGBTQ and other oppressed & marginalized groups, that they are demanding tolerance and respect from everyone, whether or not those people agree with their beliefs. And they have EVERY right to demand that.  I AM a member of the LGBTQ community! But I also understand that it is ignorant, stupid, foolish and hateful for individuals to demand tolerance and respect for themselves & the marginalized groups in which they belong when they are unwilling to be tolerant and respectful of others who share different beliefs from theirs!  What right do you have to rip apart someone for their beliefs & lifestyles while telling those very people to respect your beliefs & lifestyles?! This post has NOTHING political, NOTHING demeaning, NOTHING sexist, racist, prejudice, homophobic!  GUESS WHAT? There are plenty of LGBTQ people who are Christians. There are plenty of Christians who are active in their faith and go to church but do NOT believe homosexuality is wrong, and that it is not their place to judge anyone (as the bible says.)  And before you think I’m standing up for the author of this post because I share his beliefs, the truth is that I DON’T. I am agnostic.  But I completely respect & fight for EVERYONE’S right to freedom OF religion and freedom FROM religion.  You have NO business criticizing anyone’s lifestyle or beliefs, whether Christian or Athiest, gay or straight, white or black. NO right! And the only thing you do when you try to label all Christians or all religious people as intolerant, and try to tell them they are stupid for holding their beliefs, the only thing that does is make YOU look like the intolerant one! Not all Christians are imperialist, right-wing extremist, abortion-banning, gay-hating bigot swing. So how dare you paint everyone with the same brush? How dare you hold that prejudice against EVERY Christian you come across?  And why shit all over a beautiful, positive post? If you can only be kind and understanding of people who share the same beliefs and opinions as you, that is absolutely tragic.

    • missyd4

      A “human error”. Yes, we are all human, at least I think we are… And we all make mistakes (human, android, reptilian), but a mistake is forgetting your lunch or accidentally setting your alarm from AM to PM. Leaving animals in your own care, whether at work or at home, out in the cold to die, which they did, especially when that is your ONLY JOB, that is not a “mistake.” Thank god this person resigned. We all have off days but if your off day results in the completely avoidable deaths of two living creatures, you are not responsible enough to hold such a position. Sad, but true. I’m sure this person responsible feels horrible, but this is one of those cases where that’s exactly how they SHOULD and DESERVE to feel. So sad.

    • missyd4

      Okay I don’t know if this stuff happens in Canada in the larger cities, but the most I have ever seen in Kingston, Ontario is pee on the seat. There are a lot of people with mental disabilities or mental health issues who ride the bus here and talk to people they don’t know which often drives other people crazy, but I find it rather endearing and enjoy such interesting, sporadic conversations. Talking to strangers can, of course, be very dangerous. Especially when they ask for your phone number. But I’ve had some really cool interactions on public transit too! This kind of stuff makes me wish I lived in the states or in bigger cities! I know people who ride transit hate the stuff mentioned above, but it’s great inspiration for a writer who is developing characters! I love it. I’ve been driving for 4 years now, and I loooooove having my car and not having to deal with public transit for the convenience issues, but I love, love, love unusual characters, like turtle lady, iguana man, the harp player, and so on. Not so much dirty underwear on the seat though… And HELL NO to those Asian countries where they literally push people onto the transit when it’s already packed like a sardine can! (I’m sure it happens elsewhere but I know it happens there a LOT.)

    • missyd4

      I usually shower ever few days unless I’m more active on a particular day. I rarely sweat and am generally not that active, both because I am very thin and fit naturally and also because I have health issues and don’t always have the energy to be super active! I always smell good (at least, people always seem to compliment how good I smell) and my hair has improved SO much more since I stopped washing it every day. Same with my skin. But you should ALWAYS wash your face at night! Well, unless you have dry skin I guess. But if you wear makeup, wash that shit off! Although I totally do not practice what I preach with that… Some nights I’m just too tired!

    • missyd4

      All in all though, this was a very poor excuse for an “experiment.” The way she worded her response is very poor and the sample group is super small. Like I said on another post, you poke a bear and it bites you, and then want to teach a lesson about how mean the bear is….  Maybe a better response would be “Thank you, I think so too!” And then see how people respond, as you have been polite, but also agreed with the compliment. Just saying “Yep”, even if not perceived as conceited, is absolutely intentionally rude.

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