missyd4
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    • missyd4

      I once had a dream that Leo was obsessed with me, to a violent degree. He charged a room I was in with a boyfriend (who was not my boyfriend in real life) and forced him out of the room at gunpoint, and demanded I sleep with him which DUH I DID. He professed his love to me over and over, and although I was highly concerned about his mental state, I was like, “Calm down. I love you too.” I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life but waking up from that dream was quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.

    • missyd4

      It’s none of your business. And “of course I’m really happy for this mother.” No you aren’t. If you were genuinely happy for her, you wouldn’t post such a cruel comment on something she can likely see. People who are truly happen for someone may have certain thoughts in their head like “This couple barely has a penny to their name, why are they having kids?” But they certainly wouldn’t say them. Don’t say that you’re happy for someone just because you think it sounds less harsh or prevent people from being offended by your comment. You basically just said they made a terrible choice by having a child because the child will have an impairment. Well guess what? I have serious kidney problems, have lost one already & have one slowly failing now, & have had over 20 surgeries from 2011-2012. But I’m still glad I got the chance to live at all!

    • missyd4

      I cannot believe all the mud being slung at Tom for this. Sure, his agent should not have been the one to drop the bomb, but NO ONE should have to do anything they don’t want to do with their lives. Making music out of obligation when he doesn’t even want to would be completely disingenuous. Isn’t that a mark of a true poser? Someone who does something to please others that is inauthentic and not what they actually genuinely want to do/should be doing? Someone who does things/acts in a way that differs from who they truly are? And you think Tom DeLonge OWES you something?! You think he got famous because of YOU? He got famous because he put out music that was loved. And yes, if you didn’t all love it, he wouldn’t have been famous. But if he didn’t put all he had into making music and didn’t make those albums in the first place you would have never had the privilege of loving his music at all.  And just because he no longer wants to make music with Blink 182 - or wants to take a temporary hiatus (none of us knows his true intent) - doesn’t mean he is ungrateful of all the support his fans have given him over the years. The only thing he is guilty of is being disrespectful and inconsiderate toward his bandmates - and we have ALL been disrespectful or inconsiderate at some point in our lives. The only difference is we’re not under a microscope. You say you were/are his fans. No you’re not! If you were actually his fans you would want him to do what makes him happy, not do what makes YOU happy. Why would you want somebody to make music that they don’t even want to make? Labels pressure the shit out of artists to make music they don’t want to make all the time. We think it’s bullshit when labels do that or when labels force artists to do things under contractual obligations rather than because the artists genuinely want to create their “art” (and yes, all music is art, whether you like it or not) so what gives you, the fans, the right to demand artists do what you say? Dude is almost 40! Very few bands last forever. And most of the bands who have lasted decades and decades should have stopped making music a long time ago in terms of quality. He owes his bandmates an apology, sure. But he doesn’t owe you or I shit!

    • missyd4

      Okay… I get that some of this is funny. But her mother seems like she has horrible values. “You can look sexy even when you’re sick.” If my mother tried to tell me any of that while I was sick with a failing kidney, I would have punched her. And I love my mother.  Also “Your hair is thinning. Go to the salon and get extensions… Skinny body, thick hair.” Ummm. A) Extensions are insanely expensive so I take it the mother is rich. She seems incredibly superficial. This is very funny to read, but very scary that she’s an actual person seriously meaning these things.

    • missyd4

      Also just saw comments of people saying “You should TOTALLY live with someone before you marry them.” And “Why would you ever need to ask permission to marry somebody?” Well, good for you if that’s how you feel about living together. But that isn’t always possible for some people and some people still want a little mystery between them and that’s fine too. I know couples who lived together before they got married and that was fine for them. I also know couples who didn’t. The people who didn’t seemed to feel that marriage was a big, exciting change and the people who did lived together seemed to feel like it was no big deal as nothing changed anyway. That’s cool too. It’s about what works for YOU. Stop judging others. As for the permission aspect, no one should ever HAVE to seek the permission from someone’s parents. You should be able to marry whoever you want and your parents should respect that. But in my case, even though my parents would want me to be happy and make my own decisions, it’s a respect/consideration thing to ask permission beforehand. I don’t know if my other siblings had someone ask my parents or asked their father or mother in law, but for me, I’m the youngest of the family & happen to be a girl. However, both my stepdad and dad raised me and both would appreciate being asked. Even if my parents say no, I’d want the guy to ask anyway, because my parents and I have different perspectives (for example I am nearly 28 and just got in trouble last night for posting a Chris Rock quote with an F bomb. Hahahaha. Dad said one day I’d regret using such language. I said “Maybe” even though I know I won’t give a shit.) But it’s a respect thing that I hear him out, say maybe he is right, consider it. Then I do my own thing.  Generally, if my parents feel so strongly that I shouldn’t be marrying someone, we probably have the same concerns. But you never know. Ultimately asking permission for them isn’t really needing permission, it’s saying, “I realize this is your last unmarried child and youngest daughter. It matters to me what you think. I want you to know I respect you.” And that’s beautiful to me.

    • missyd4

      Also weird - the heterosexual question about “Who should pick out the ring” was super traditional (women want the man to pick it out & don’t want to see it beforehand, generally) but with gay people we choose that they shouldn’t have such silly stereotypes as gender roles within their relationships, ie the “‘manish one buying the ring for the girly one”.  Why do we expect that gay and queer people shouldn’t be bogged down by tradition but heterosexual people should be? Just a weird double standard. Again, do what works for YOU. Let everyone else do what works for THEM.

    • missyd4

      Furthermore, I didn’t like this poll because one question would be about what works for you, and then the other question in a poll would be about what works for other couples, which you don’t get to decide. Like “Would you share your engagement on Facebook.” Options are “Yes, I want everyone else to know I am engaged!” Or “No, that’s a private movement between two people .” Well, it may be private for YOU. But I can totally understand someone else wanting to share anything joyful or positive on Facebook or Social Media. The same thing with the public proposals. It suggests that people who propose in public are somehow less sincere.  Just focus on doing what works for YOU.

    • missyd4

      Okay REALLY important. If somebody doesn’t want to get married and makes that clear, DO NOT stick around hoping you can change their mind. Have you ever even seen “He’s Just Not Into You”? Well that applies. He may love you & sincerely never want to get married. But only ONE time out of 100 will sticking around work. You are 99% likely to be the rule - NOT the exception. In most cases, you just end up wasting years of your life. I was dating someone I was crazy about for 6 months and marriage came up as a random conversation, and he said he couldn’t ever see himself getting married. Personally, I value marriage. Yes it may be a piece of paper to some people, but to others, like me, it’s a whole lot more than that. And that’s okay.  He broke up with me because he knew he would never be able to give me what I want. It broke my heart but at the same time, I don’t want to waste years with a person (especially now that I’m nearly 30) when our core beliefs are so vastly different. It’s like sticking with somebody who wants kids and you don’t.  No one should have to compromise on something they feel so strongly about.

    • missyd4

      You have no idea if this was an iPhone or just another phone…and most likely it was his PARENTS’ phone. As much as spending tons of money on your kids’ phone is crazy because they WILL wreck it and/or loose it, kids having access to technology and communication devices improves child safety SOOOO much. SOOOO much. If every kid had a phone (not saying they should) but if they did, their parents could call and say “I’m running late to pick you up from school” or “Your grandma’s coming to get you.” And if a stranger came up to the kid saying “Your mom sent me to pick you up because she is busy”, the kid could just say “Let me verify that with my mom” or “No she didn’t, I just talked to her” and/or run away screaming. That’s one small example of how technology can benefit kids. An IPhone or iPad is a bit much, yes. But you have no clue what the kid’s using to record it!

    • missyd4

      10 years ago I helped my sister run a “wine and cheese night” at a retirement home. A gentleman there had no family who came by, but one had of his grand kids had written him a letter. He kept it in his pocket and asked me to read it to him 5 times that night, because it meant so much to him. My own grandma got ALS when I was 15. She was once a painter, knitter, sewer, baker and crafter. She became so ill she could no longer do any of those things, and could only speak through a special “computer” - and this was back in 2003 when those devices were still shit. I couldn’t bring myself to see her most times because she was so sick. It just killed me. And then, she died. And suddenly I wished I saw her every day, even if we stood and said nothing. And now I’m crying. I hate myself for not valuing every second we had together while we had it. You have broken a lot of hearts with this horrific “joke.”

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