1.) "I Only Need One Thing...I'll Just Run In and Out" is the first lie you'll tell yourself during this adventure
2.) You don't grab a basket thinking you won't need it
3.) You walk past the dollar section thinking, "no, no, no"
4.) You circle back to the dollar section just because you want to see if there is anything you might need
5.) You grab about 5 things you want from the dollar section and decide to grab a basket just to make it easier
6.) You try and avoid eye contact with the jewelry and accessories section
7.) In a moment of weakness, you spot one necklace that you just have to have!
8.) And what's a necklace without a pair of earrings and a belt and a purse
9.) So you end up filling your basket full in the first 5 minutes
10.) You decide you'll actually need a cart and go back for one
11.) You pass the dollar section again and decide to just grab one more thing
12.) You've made it past the first section of the store and are on your way to the groceries when you pass the cosmetics
13.) You remember you need a new tube of mascara
14.) You decide it's best to have backup so you don't have to come back to Target every time you run out of your cosmetics
15.) You buy one of everything you already own
16.) And a new carrying case to hold it all
17.) You realize it would be super useful to have somewhere to hold this all at home
18.) So you go to the container section and buy some new sets of plastic drawers
19.) But not before you pass the appliances and see that the coffee maker you've been wanting is now on sale
20.) So you grab one
21.) And decide that it would be a great birthday present for your sister, so you grab a second one
22.) You take a detour through the toy section to avoid the food because, who knows what might happen in there!
23.) You find yourself walking down the aisle that holds all your favorite childhood toys
24.) And have a quick moment wishing for youth
25.) But not before you look at all the cool new things that they didn't have when you were a kid
26.) And pretend like you're shopping for a gift for someone else
27.) Before you are more tempted to actually buy said toy, you make your great escape through the fitness gear
28.) Which reminds you that you need to go to the gym more often
29.) But all these great workout DVDs are only $5 and you can do them from home
30.) So you grab three with fit celebs on the cover
31.) And a yoga mat
32.) And some hand weights
33.) But you realize now the purse is too much and you stuff it somewhere in the aisle
34.) And on your way out of the aisle you run into the books which reminds you that your friend told you about that great new book they read
35.) And you go looking for it
36.) And find two books that you think sound good
37.) But you remember that you don't like to read and one of those books is also a movie
38.) So you go to the DVDs
39.) And find all these great old movies for only $9.99
40.) But seriously, four movies in one DVD for only $9.99
41.) You grab six
42.) And somehow find yourself by the electronics drooling over an iPad
43.) But you know you'll never be able to afford one of those
44.) So you turn around to find yourself looking at the computer games
45.) And you notice they have that old game that you and your sister used to play for only $3!
46.) So you decide you'll get that for her for her birthday
47.) And stick the second coffee maker in the aisle
48.) Then second guess your choices and stick the first coffee maker in the aisle as well
49.) Then pick it back up and put it in the cart again because you NEED it!
50.) You try to have some self control and decide to head to the registers
51.) But pass the clothes on the way there
52.) And decide that you just don't want to deal with the dressing room right now
53.) So you only grab the clothes that you already know what size you are
54.) Then wander into the shoes because you remembered you need a new pair of flats
55.) And three more pairs of shoes later, you find your way to the check out
56.) Where you buy a pack of gum
57.) And a diet coke
58.) And a new chapstick
59.) It isn't until your total appears on the register that you begin to regret your decisions
60.) But it's too late and you pay for everything
61.) Then it isn't until you make your way home and begin making dinner that you realize the only reason you went was to buy salad dressing...
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