1.
When you have to face a stranger’s exposed armpit as they hold onto the bar.
2.
When you walk down the subway stairs into the fiery pits of hell and the temperature suddenly spikes 10 degrees.
3.
When you lose balance and sway right into a stranger's sweaty back.
4.
When there's a train delay and you must endure a second longer of this torture.
5.
When the heat makes you so light-headed that even the shuttle feels like an eternity of suffering.
6.
When you finally find an empty subway car with AC.
7.
When you overhear someone complaining about the lack of Wi-Fi on the subway and all you want is some FRESH AIR.
8.
When the summer humidity amplifies the stench of underground NYC.
9.
When you sweat through every layer of your business casual work outfit.
10.
When a passing subway blows a steamy gust of wind into your face and you accidentally inhale.
11.
When you sweat off all of your makeup and you question why you ever bothered trying to look good in the first place.
12.
When the summer rain just adds to the preexisting moisture and other unidentified liquids.
13.
When the sweatiest man in the subway car sits RIGHT next to you even though there are other available seats.
14.
When someone actually has the audacity to fart as if the dense, humid air isn't enough.
15.
When school's out and the subway is infiltrated by the angsty teen demographic.
16.
When you sit down in someone else's butt sweat.
17.
And when your own butt is suctioned to the chair and you have to peel yourself off.
18.
When a subway performer is dancing and their sweaty body just adds to the underground heat wave.
19.
When you get stuck next to a scantily clad individual and pretty much go to second base.
20.
When the subway humidity is so moist and powerful your hair actually doubles in size.
21.
When you glance down and see everyone's nasty toes sticking out of their sandals.
22.
When you hold onto the subway pole and it's fucking wet with sweat.
23.
When you finally make it up the exit stairs alive and get that first breath of fresh air.
