1. You have absolutely no problem admitting that you throw more shade than a solar eclipse.
2. Just the mere thought of humanity gives you an unquenchable thirst for vodka.
3. You roll your eyes so much you actually make yourself dizzy sometimes.
4. "You are the company you keep" is how you justify avoiding sucky people.
5. On the rare occasion you actually go out and socialize, you almost immediately regret that decision.
6. Truth is, you're a bit of a homebody.
7. The only time you'd be caught dead in a social setting is if there's food and booze.
8. And god forbid if you're promised snacks but don't get them.
9. As soon as you enter a crowded room, you're overcome with a strange urge to punch a wall.
10. You're not exactly great at faking nice when someone dares to approach you.
11. And those who know better will make sure they save themselves from your wrath.
12. Whenever anyone attempts to introduce you to a new friend, you quickly shut that idea down.
13. Overly nice people make you intensely uncomfortable.
14. It's safe to say you don't respond well to small talk.
15. When someone complains that you never answer their texts, you kindly suggest they give up.
16. You form unofficial alliances in your head with anyone who hates the same person as you.
17. You have a reputation for being brutally honest.
18. Some people search for love, but you have your eyes on a slightly better prize:
19. You get weirdly proud when you overhear someone talking shit about you.
20. Getting to know you requires a thick skin and a strong sense of humor.
21. You've gotten impressively good at dodging your enemies at parties.
22. It's not often that you care enough to fight with someone, but when you do you always win.
23. You shamelessly unfollow and unfriend annoying people on social media all the time.
24. Sipping a cocktail is your go-to diversion when you don't want to respond to peasants.
25. But being a bona fide hater doesn't mean you actually hate EVERYTHING.
Thumbnail image courtesy of: Bravo