1. Clarissa: Clarissa Explains It All
I guarantee you that we all believed, in our adolescence, that we were as fly and awesome as Clarissa. Her only flaw is that she exaggerates literally every life problem. The great thing is though is that we all think this way. Tell me honestly that you didn’t care at all when Jake asked another girl to your 8th grade dance. No, the world was crumbing all around you. But like all of us eventually learned to do, Clarissa soldiered through and [eventually became a teenage witch].
2. Sam “The Squid” Dullard: Rocket Power
Admit it, if you’re reading internet lists in your spare time you definitely have more in common with “The Squid” than Otto, Reggie or Twister (hint: you/we are kinda nerdy). But that is a compliment for “The Squid” was the absolute man. Brains, Brawn and unshakable goalie skills. He also probably ended up founding some big tech company in Silicon Valley. #NoShoobies #WoogidyWoogidyWoogidy
Also, shout out to Uncle Tito for making into the .gif #AlohaToThat
3. Dagget Beaver: Angery Beavers
There are times in our life where things don’t go as we planned. Times when stress builds and we, to varying degrees, “snap”/”loose it”/go crazy. Enter Daggett Beaver. This guy, as loveable as he is, was a crazy manic character. Now, being Daggett Beaver a few hours before your big Civ Pro final or work deadline is never a good thing. However, take solace in the fact that there is a little invention called Adderall and/or Xanax that will love you unconditionally forever.
4. Debbie Thornberry: The Wild Thornberrys
If we all went through a Clarissa phase, we also all went through a Debbie phase. Remember when it was cool to hate the world, our family, everything outside of our own existence?
5. Cat & Dog: CatDog
Cat: The put-together, responsible, sober version of ourselves.
Dog: The drunk version of ourselves.
Need I say more?
6. Helga Pataki: Hey Arnold
Ok, so many of you won’t admit it but we all went crazy over a girl/guy back in the day (or still are). I get that Helga went way beyond obsessive and creepy but we all had THAT ONE TIME where we said to ourselves “wow, did I really just do/say/think that?” For one shameful/proud moment in our lives we all let our inner Helga out. And it either landed us the person of our dreams or made us transfer schools.
7. Donkey Lips: Salute Your Shorts
Donkey Lips was often stuck between being a straight ladies man and a connoisseur of fine food. If this isn’t your ideal day-to-day existence you really need to reassess your life goals. He is so much what I am (food eater) and what I want to become (ladies man).
8. Phil and Lil DeVille: Rugrats
The best part of Phil and Lil’s relationship is that they always call each other by their full names, Phillip and Lillian. Tell me this isn’t the way you act when you’re with your best friend or favorite sibling. No really tell me, because you’re doing it wrong then. Relatable characteristic #2? They always get confused with one another all the time, just like you and your bestie. Woah, did the stars just align?
9. Porkchop: Doug
Porkchop, the insanely cool, loyal wing-dog of Doug. There are fewer things less fun than wingman/womaning your single friend at the bar. You get to be every positive trait while also being totally selfless. You’re wing-mensching.
10. Gary: Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Gary, the leader we all wish we were, the great founder of the Midnight Society. Quiet and, as wikipedia would say, “bookish”, Gary was the Theodore Roosevelt of the Nickelodeon world. At one point or another in our lives, when the chips were down, we all were that brilliant yet reserved person who held down the duty of putting out the campfire like a true hero. And, like Gary, we all were into dorky magic stuff for a period, however brief.
11. The “Always in Last Place” Team: Guts and Global Guts
When your day goes from bad to worse. Somedays you’re on the winning blue/America team and somedays you’re on the losing red/Commonwealth of Independent States team.
Fun Fact: America won 6 gold medals (Aggro Crags) in Global Guts while the Commonwealth of Independent States (Russia) won 0. Maybe it was because Russia was competing against the gay child athletes of America?
12. Kirk Fogg: Legends of the Hidden Temple
Kirk Fogg has to be one of the most under-appreciated game show hosts of all time. But only a true man can pull of high-waisted khaki shorts and an equally stylish tucked-in gray oxford. Unfortunately, he was always overshadowed by Olmec, that attention grabbing POS (piece of stone). Kirk Fogg is a testament to those days when our brilliant work goes unnoticed, when that power tripping exec board member shoots down your philanthropy t-shirt idea because of her own, more important, problems.
13. Debbie: The Amanda Show
I feel ya’ Debbie. I like, no…love, eggs. Debbie was also probably the most real Nickelodeon character ever created. She just says what she feels and doesn’t care at all what people think of her. If not relatable, she’s at least the role model we have all been waiting for. #Debbie2014