1. He’s sensitive.
He can be your hero, baby. He can kiss away the pain.
2. He can dance.
The life of the party. Shake it like a Polaroid picture.
3. He has the coolest friends.
Every man needs a best friend. His just happens to be James Dean.
4. He’s a winner.
Started from the bottom now we’re a big-time pool player.
5. He can eat 50 eggs.
“Nobody ever eat 50 eggs”. Except Paul Newman, because he’s a man.
6. He’s a world-class athlete.
He taught Coach Bombay everything he knew.
8. He loves dogs.
Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
Paul Newman did.
9. He drinks beer.
The biggest celebrity to ever endorse Busch beer. Partying on a budget.
10. He can grow a perfect beard.
The clear winner of no-shave November.
12. He’s philosophical.
Peace in the hearts of women everywhere.
14. He’s not afraid to enjoy a little luxury.
Like those 300 thread count sheets.