1. All the hot babes in tiny bikinis.
We were born naked — it’s unnatural to cover that up in 100 layers of snow clothes.
2. Instead of getting in your car and looking like this…
How is it even possible that the inside of the car is colder than the outside of the car?!
…you get in your car and relish the breeze blowing in.
Ah yes, breeze — it sounds like freeze but is nothing like it and is actually 1,000x better.
3. Getting to wear your favorite pair of sunglasses all the time.
See you later, embarrassing winter hat. It’s time for the shades.
4. Getting ripped AND tan.
Getting ripped and tan is exclusive to summer. The winter equivalent is eating mac ‘n’ cheese in front of a space heater. Womp womp.
5. Being so hot you can do this:
Dear Sweat, we actually miss you. Sorry for all the bad stuff we said about you last summer. You were right — winter sucks.
6. Two words: Cook. Outs.
AKA no more eating Chinese takeout alone because we’re “too cold” to get groceries.
7. THE SUN.
Sunlight that lasts until 8 p.m.? Yes. YES.
8. Making s’mores at a bonfire.
Instead of at your gas stove, which you think might be dangerous but you don’t care because you’re so desperate for summertime joy you risk a house fire.
That’s right, sand. Why? Because sand is warm and doesn’t melt all over your life like snow does.
You didn’t think it was possible, but you actually prefer a burned epidermis to being see-through.
12. Yard work.
It’s nice to get out in the yard… get a little dirty… do some thinking.
13. Not seeing this again for a guaranteed several months.
Make it stop.