Remember, kids, you can’t just copy + paste. You have to reformat the text too!
Valentine’s Day, today:
Most schools have banned candy on Feb. 14. Oh, the humanity.
5. Summer break, then:
Soaking up the rays from early June until September.
Summer break, today:
School districts have added extra days to the school year to keep students from falling behind the rest of the world. Enjoy those measly seven weeks off, kids!
6. Sitting on the carpet, then:
We called this “Indian style.” (Cringes)
Sitting on the carpet, today:
It’s now known as “crisscross apple sauce.”
7. Smoking pot, then:
Behind the gymnasium on the down low. Shh!
Smoking pot, today:
Posted on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter!
8. Learning about your teacher’s private lives, then:
The extent of what you knew about your teachers came from the rare times you ran into them at the supermarket. “Did you see Mr. O’Brien had beer in his cart? Haha!”
Learning about your teacher’s private lives, today:
Facebook, RateMyTeachers.com, and even a cursory Google search turn up all kinds of embarrassing information, like a skimpy bikini photo an ex won’t take down.
9. Graduation, then:
It was for completing high school after 12 years of hard work.
10. Lunch, then:
Peanut butter and jelly was a perennial favorite.
This is as close as you’ll get to a PB&J — most schools have banned peanut butter due to nut allergies.
11. Staying home sick, then:
Nothing but boring day time talk shows to watch.
Staying home sick, today:
Netflix means kids can watch thousands of programs including stuff their parents wouldn’t let them watch under normal circumstances.
12. Getting a bad grade, then:
Parents assumed it was your fault and gave you a good talking to.
Getting a bad grade, today:
Parents assume it’s the teacher’s fault and give the teacher a good talking to.
13. Backpacks, then:
Each of your teachers insisted that you bring your textbook to class every day, and you’ve got the back problems to prove it.
Many schools have gone digital and use tablets, which means that kids get to forego the back pain and look super cool walking down the halls.