1.
When your kid is playing below circling birds you can’t help but worry about this:
2.
If someone else is holding your baby you feel super uncomfortable the entire time.
3.
You need to find a 12-step group for baby proofing, because you baby proof everywhere you go.
4.
You always scream when your kid falls down, which generally upsets them way more than the fall.
5.
If the supermarket is out of wipes at the entrance, you spend your whole time shopping paranoid that your kid is going to catch a cold.
6.
You're pretty much always sleepy because you get up many times a night to peek in your kid's room and make sure they're okay.
7.
When your kid's class goes on a field trip you can't stop yourself from volunteering.
8.
You're at the school dances, too.
9.
The phrase “They’ll be fine” makes you see red.
10.
If your kid wants to have a sleepover you always insist that it's at your house.
11.
And in the rare instance that you can’t avoid the sleepover being elsewhere, you make a drive by or two.
12.
You live in fear of your kid noticing one of those bungie jump things that are popping up everywhere.
13.
Even dropping your kid off somewhere is difficult, and you won't leave without imparting five minutes of warnings and instructions.
14.
You're unfairly suspicious of any of your kid's new friends.
15.
You've spoiled trips to the amusement park because you won't let your kid go on the scary rides.
16.
When a food is recalled you never serve it to your kid ever again no matter how limited the recall was.
17.
You think 16 is too young to drive and have gone to ridiculous lengths to keep your kid safe on the road.
18.
No matter how many times you're told the "wait thirty minutes after eating" rule isn't true, you still insist on it with your kids.
19.
You rarely ever go out because you're afraid of what will happen if you leave your kid alone with the babysitter.
20.
Even when you do finally go out you constantly call to "check in."
21.
If you lose track of your kid you totally freak the freak out.
22.
And if it happens at the mall they might as well call you an ambulance.
23.
Your kid can get pretty fed up with you because of all of this, but the good news is that they know you act this way because you love them madly.
