21 Parents You Meet After Having Kids

And you thought the people in college were weird.

1. The Workaholic

Andrey Popov / shutterstock.com

They corner you at children’s parties and tell you all about their latest business venture — that is, when they’re not scrolling through work emails on their phone.

2. The Wine Lover

Fox

They bring wine to play dates and even drink it out of sippy cups. You’re a bit worried about them.

3. The Hipster

They dress their kid in skinny jeans, oversized glasses, and a Sex Pistols’ T-shirt, even though the kid has never heard a note of their music.

4. The Parenting Expert

They ask you how you feed/potty train/discipline your kid, then explain at length why what you’re doing is totally wrong.

5. The Social Media Addict

E! Entertainment

They can’t let a minute go by without posting a selfie with their kid to Facebook, tweeting a “funny” kid quote, or Instagramming a video at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Those with the biggest problem even post stuff on Google+.

6. The Overwhelmed

Pamela Corey / shutterstock.com

They talk about showers the way most people do vacations.

7. The Maniac

They roughhouse with their kids everywhere they go, including Sunday church services.

8. The Baker

Ariwasabi / shutterstock.com

They can’t attend an event of any kind without bringing dozens of homemade goodies.

9. The Certifiably Insane

They scare you, and unfortunately their kid is best friends with yours.

10. The Recliner

They somehow manage to raise their children without ever getting up from their La-Z-Boy.

11. The Prematurely Old

NBC

They’ve cut their hair, wear high-waisted jeans, and can’t wait to tell you all about the interesting things they learned on NPR this morning.

12. The Oblivious

They never notice when their kid is about to fall off a ledge or needs a booger wiped off their face.

13. The General

20th Century Fox

They treat their kids like they’re in the military, and expect full compliance to their rules. Their kids are scared of them and so are you.

14. The Health Nut

They’ve somehow convinced their kids to love tomato wedges, and totally judge you for giving yours Doritos even if they’re too polite to say so.

15. The Big Kid

NBC

They feed their Peter Pan complex by spending hours climbing the jungle gym, watching cartoons, and playing tag with their kids.

16. The Helicopter

taran4uk / shutterstock.com

They spend all day within arm’s reach of their kid in case they fall down, pick up something dirty, or need a hug.

17. The Free Ranger

They rarely have any idea where their kids are and like to say, “They’ll be home when they’re home.”

18. The Effortlessly Cool

They make parenting seem totally awesome instead of a series of dirty diapers, tantrums, and PTA meetings.

19. The Try Hards

ABC

They’re desperate to show that they’re still every bit as cool as they were before kids, but they’re not very convincing.

20. The Creeper

They view every school event, trip to the park, and Little League game as an opportunity to pick up on the opposite sex, ring or no ring.

21. The Braggart

They want to tell you all about how their youngest just skipped a grade and their oldest is being scouted by UCLA. And did you hear about their daughter, the singer?

And then there’s you…

MTV

Who is totally nailing this parenting thing, of course.

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