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19 Parents Every Teacher Meets

School is back and so are these parents.

1. The Neighbor

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They live in your neighborhood, and once you’ve met them you run into them everywhere. This is especially awkward at the supermarket when they look into your cart and see a pack of cheap beer and US Weekly.

2. The Over-Your-Header

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They take every issue they have with you (no matter how tiny) directly to the principal.

3. The Veteran

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They have older children who were already in your class, so they know your system like the back of their hand.

4. The Hottie

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They’re so wowza attractive that you have to resist the impulse to say, “Enough talk about your kid. Tell me about you!”

5. The Expert

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They either have a cousin who is a teacher or recently caught Stand and Deliver on TBS, and therefore believe they know exactly how you should run your class.

6. The Actual Expert

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They’re a teacher themselves (or were one), and actually do have a good idea of how you should run your class. They make you a little nervous.

7. The Best Friend

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They share details of their love life in between discussions of their kid’s test scores.

8. The Ghost

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They’ve never come to the school and won’t return your calls no matter how many times you dial their number. You know they exist, though, because you’ve heard their voice on their outgoing message.

9. The Giver

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They mean well, but make you uncomfortable with all of the questionably appropriate gifts they offer. (“Thanks, Mrs. Jones, but I really shouldn’t accept gifts —” “But they’re front row.” “Really? I mean, no!”)

10. The Ghostwriter

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They clearly do their kid’s homework, and are brazen enough about it to pepper each assignment with college level grammar and thousand dollar words.

11. The Angel

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They’re always the first to offer help around the classroom or to chaperone a field trip. They do so much for your class, in fact, that you almost feel guilty about it.

12. The Bandwidth Burner

They send you daily emails, regularly keep you on the phone for forty-five minutes or more, and stop you in the parking lot on the way to your car.

13. The Nostalgic Grad

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They’re usually terrific to deal with, but no interaction with them is complete until they’ve told you another story from their school days.

14. The Accuser

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They’re convinced that every little thing that goes wrong with their child is your fault, and will corner you once or twice a year to give you a royal telling off.

15. The Scapegoat

NBC

Their kid has you convinced they’re the problem (“I couldn’t do the homework because my mom won’t let me use the computer”), but when you meet them it becomes clear their kid is trying to play you both.

16. The Grounder

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They start every conversation with “What did he do now?” and punctuate your discussion with things like, “Doesn’t surprise me one bit!” and “He is so grounded!”

17. The Acquaintance

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They’re your dentist, former high school classmate, or neighbor. This either makes things really easy… or really awkward. (Mid dental exam: “Well, Dr. Jones, I gave your son an “F” because… OW!!!”)

18. The Apologizer

BBC

They’re skittish about approaching you even when they’re absolutely right to, and never fail to profusely apologize about taking up your time.

19. The Supporter

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They’re on the same page as you in trying to support their child’s education, and make your job a lot easier.

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