23 Kids You Meet As A Parent

“Mom, can Tommy come over?” Oh god. Tommy. posted on

1. The Garbage Disposal

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They eat you out of house and home, then complain to their parents that you never fed them.

2. The Overachiever

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They’re so high-strung and future-focused that you wish they’d skip a class or two and hang out with the burnouts in the parking lot.

3. The Insomniac

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They keep you awake all night when sleeping over by running around every inch of your home.

4. The Kiss Ass

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They think they’ve got you wrapped around their little finger but you can see right through them.

5. The Nerd

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You want to wrap them up in a blanket and keep them safe from the world.

6. The Queen Bee

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They’re so popular and intimidating that even you are a little scared of them.

7. The Ungrateful

It doesn’t matter how many dinners, rides, or movie tickets you give these kids. They never say “thank you.”

8. The Born Leader

They say they want to be president one day and are so together that they just might be.

9. The Horn Dog

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They’re the reason parental controls were invented.

10. The Schemer

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You practically have to hire a private investigator to stay on top of all the trouble they’re plotting with your kid.

11. The Picky Eater

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They come to your house for dinner and refuse to eat anything but bread and butter.

12. The Critic

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They watch you like a hawk and are quick to mention when they think their parents do something better than you.

13. The World Weary

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They act like the world is an unbearable place even before they’ve ever had a job, paid taxes, or gone to the DMV.

14. The Politician

They’ve memorized all of their parents’ talking points and love to debate national affairs on the way to the playground.

15. The Performer

They can’t let more than a couple minutes pass without yelling “Watch me!”

16. The Ghost

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They’re so quiet they could be at your house a whole day before you even realize they’re there.

17. The Bully

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They remind you way too much of the jerks who pushed you around when you were a kid.

18. The Old Soul

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They prefer coffee to soda, Mozart to pop music, and often surprise you by making comments that are disarmingly insightful.

19. The Orthodork

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They’re guaranteed to lose their retainer at the restaurant when you invite them out.

20. The Hyperkinetic

They can’t be given sugar any more than a gremlin can be fed after midnight.

21. The Fashion Plate

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They have more fashion sense at 12 than you’ve ever had, and look at you with pity when you pick up your kid in sweats and a T-shirt.

22. The Gamer

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When they’re not playing games on their console they’re playing them on their parents’ tablet or phone. You seriously hope they never start gambling.

23. The Lothario

They started asking their classmates out on dates in the fifth grade and never fail to compliment you when you get a new haircut.

And then there’s your kid…

Who (in your eyes at least) is the coolest of the bunch.

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