25 Words That Have A Totally Different Meaning When You’re A Parent

Kids change everything.

1. “Ice cream”

Flickr: gracewong / Via Creative Commons

What it usually means: A delicious, frozen treat.
What it means to parents: An all powerful bribe that can be used to make your kids do something they don’t want to do.

2. “Errands”

Al Howard Productions

What it usually means: A quick trip to the supermarket, dry cleaners, or post office.
What it means to parents: A nightmare you pray you can get through without your kid throwing an epic tantrum.

3. “Date night”

20th Century Fox

What it usually means: What you do on Friday night.
What it means to parents: What you do on Friday night…every other month after hiring a babysitter and writing out an extensive list of instructions.

4. “Seduction”

What it usually means: Candles, soft music, flowers…
What it means to parents: Taking the baby so your partner can nap, cleaning out the high chair, showering…

5. “Genie”

What it usually means: A magical spirit trapped in a bottle that grants wishes.
What it means to parents: A receptacle for diapers that, despite its promises, stinks up your whole house.

6. “Frozen”

Flickr: sgmccook / Via Creative Commons

What it usually means: When something is really, really cold.
What it means to parents: The movie with that song your kids WILL. NOT. STOP. SINGING.

7. “McDonald’s”

What it usually means: Where you get Big Macs, french fries, and other artery-clogging goodness.
What it means to parents: The place your kid catches a cold.

8. “Baseball”

Neal Lantela / Flickr: 98399468@N00 / Via Creative Commons

What it usually means: America’s pastime.
What it means to parents: An excuse for the parents of your kid’s teammates to act like complete psychopaths.

9. “Bedtime”

Universal Pictures

What it usually means: When you go to sleep.
What it means to parents: An elaborate routine that takes at least 20 minutes and includes supervising the brushing of teeth, reading a bedtime story, and telling your kid over and over to “Go to sleep!”

10. “Computer problems”

Columbia Pictures

What it usually means: Your computer has a virus.
What it means to parents: Your computer has peanut butter between the keys.

11. “Look”

What it usually means: To gaze upon something.
What it means to parents: A plea heard hundreds of times per day asking you to watch a dance, funny face, or video game being played.

12. “Vacation”

Warner Bros. Pictures

What it usually means: Big cities (New York!), sunny beaches (Maui!), or ski resorts (Vail!).
What it means to parents: Disneyland.

13. “Grandparents”

Flickr: benmcleod / Via Creative Commons

What it usually means: Mom and Dad.
What it means to parents: Glorious people who take your kids off your hands now and then.

14. “Throw up”

Columbia Pictures

What it usually means: Something you do once or twice a year when you drink too much or are really sick.
What it means to parents: Something your kid does once or twice a day on you.

15. “Dora”

Nickelodeon

What it usually means: A woman’s name, usually short for “Dorothy.”
What it means to parents: A cartoon character who won’t stop asking your kid questions.

16. “Timeout”

Ronald Martinez / Via Getty Images Sports

What it usually means: Something you call in a football or basketball game.
What it means to parents: Something you give your kids when they’re acting like little a-holes.

17. “Me time”

Focus Features / Via mwomercs.com

What it usually means: Putting your feet up with a good book and glass of wine.
What it means to parents: When you go to the bathroom (that is if your kids don’t follow you in there).

18. “Knock-knock”

What it usually means: Someone’s at the door.
What it means to parents: A joke your kids won’t stop telling over and over and over (and over).

19. “Snacks”

Flickr: rikhei / Via Creative Commons

What it usually means: Delicious food you eat between meals.
What it means to parents: The goldfish crackers you keep at the bottom of your purse.

20. “Netflix”

Netflix

What it usually means: A service that lets you binge watch Mad Men and Breaking Bad.
What it means to parents: A service that suggests only cartoons and Barney specials.

21. “Sleeping in”

Disney

What it usually means: Rolling out of bed around noon or when you want some cereal.
What it means to parents: Stumbling out of bed around 7 a.m. or when your kids holler that they can’t open the cereal box (whichever is earlier).

22. “Party”

20th Television / Via ellidegg.deviantart.com

What it usually means: Drinking adult beverages in someone’s apartment as people dance until the wee hours of the morning.
What it means to parents: Drinking lemonade in someone’s backyard as kids jump in a bounce house until noon.

23. “American girl”

Flickr: yuan2003 / Via Creative Commons

What it usually means: A woman in the United States.
What it means to parents: A collection of ridiculously expensive dolls your kid won’t stop asking for.

24. “Why”

20th Century Fox

What it usually means: A question that prompts an explanation.
What it means to parents: A question that prompts “BECAUSE I SAID SO!”

25. “Love”

Disney / Via blogs.disney.com

What it usually means: When your heart swells.
What it means to parents: When your heart swells so much that it bursts in a way you never dreamed possible.

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