DIY

20 Most Painfully Awkward Moments Of Having “The Talk” With Your Kid

This is all because those darn neighborhood kids can’t get their facts straight.

1. Realizing your kid is old enough for “the talk” and OMG YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO THIS!

20th Century Fox

2. Researching sex ed online and finding it’s a lot more complicated than you remember.

BBC

Wait… that has a name?

3. Making the mistake of asking your parents for advice.

Universal / Dreamworks

The awkwardness won’t stop until you’ve heard: “You should know your mother and I had a very healthy sex life. Still do.”

4. Your spouse cornering you and saying, “So how’s the preparation going?”

Bravo

5. Making a trip to the mall to pick up “the books.”

theeyres.com / Harvest House Publishers

6. The expression of the clerk who rings you up.

Touchstone Pictures

7. The time spent summoning the strength to go through with it.

Disney

8. Trying to act casual as you enter your kid’s room.

Chanel 4 / FremantleMedia

9. Announcing that you want to have a talk and sounding way more official than you intended.

ABC

10. Your kid saying, “You don’t have to talk to me about this. Tommy and I already looked at some pictures on the Internet.”

CBC Television

11. The seconds that tick by as you and your kid just stare at each other.

NBC

12. Your kid’s expression when it becomes clear there’ll be no stopping you.

Apatow Prods. / Dreamworks

13. The awkwardness of saying the word “vagina.”

Warner Bros.

“Vah-jii-naa.”

14. Not to mention the word “penis.”

PBS

“Peeee-nusss.”

15. Basically all the words. SO MANY WORDS.

Momentum / Weinstein Company

Scrotum. Clitoris. Vulva. Orgasm.

16. Reaching the topic of masturbation and hearing your kid ask, “Do you do it?”

Miramax

17. Plus all the other questions your kid asks.

TNT

“So what’s all that stuff in your bedside drawer?”

18. So many questions.

“What exactly is a blow job?” “How old were you when you first had sex?” “Is it normal to feel funny when UFC is on?”

19. The “I’m glad we had this talk” wrap-up.

MTV

20. Trying to act like everything is normal at breakfast the next day.

BBC

Yup. It’s all pretty awkward…

But then you overhear your kid say, “Actually, Tommy, a girl can get pregnant the first time,” and you’re like:

Even if you do wish the whole experience could be wiped from your memory.

Amblin / Columbia

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