19 Reasons Dateline’s Keith Morrison Is Television’s Greatest Gift To Mankind

Keith doesn’t always host Dateline, but when he does, it’s freaking amazing.

1. His voice has the lilting tone of a beloved grandpa telling a fascinating story by the campfire.

It makes you want to lean in to the TV while roasting up some S’mores.

2. But it’s also full of dread and foreboding, as if Keith were secretly the long lost son of Vincent Price.

Frank Barratt / Via Hulton Archive

3. And, if we’re being totally honest, there’s something to his delivery that makes you suspect he might have a few bodies buried somewhere himself.

Where are the bodies, Keith? WHERE ARE THE BODIES?!

4. The man brings his distinctive delivery to social media, too, because he tweets exactly like he talks.

Tell me you didn’t read that and hear Keith’s voice in your head.

5. Keith is from Canada, which has suffered some embarrassment of late thanks to disgraced Toronto mayor Rob Ford.

Aaron Vincent Elkaim / Via Getty Images News

6. Luckily for Canada, no American who knows Keith is Canadian has anything but love, appreciation, and the deepest of gratitude for our neighbors to the North.

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7. Keith doesn’t brag about this (because he’s too damn cool), but he appeared as himself on the classic episode of Seinfeld, “The Trip.”

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He reported on Kramer’s arrest as a serial killer. Badass.

8. He also appeared on a 1992 episode of Blossom, but no evidence of it can be found on the internet.

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When Keith wants something to disappear, it disappears.

9. Keith’s biggest connection to ’90s sitcoms, though, is his stepson, Friends star Matthew Perry.

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In 1981 Keith married Matthew’s mom, Suzanne, a journalist and former press secretary to Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. The man is Chandler Bing’s stepdad, people.

10. Has Saturday Night Live made a sketch about you? No? Didn’t think so. They made one about Keith, though.

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That’s Bill Hader playing Keith, and if someone as funny as Bill Hader wants to parody you, it’s because you are freaking awesome.

11. Keith may be sixty-six, but he’s totally unafraid to rock a black leather jacket.

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12. On episode…

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13. …after episode…

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14. …after episode.

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You go with your bad self, Keith.

15. The holidays belong to Keith, who recorded the single greatest reading of the “The Night Before Christmas” EVER.

Watch the masterpiece here, but be warned: Once you see it Christmas will never be the same without it.

16. Keith’s brilliance hasn’t escaped the art world, either. Artist Mike Tiscareno painted this work of art of Keith as a sexy centaur at the commission of a couple Morrisonites.

The only unrealistic thing about it is that Keith looks much more impressive without a shirt on.

17. It’s hard to believe now, but back in high school Keith wasn’t exactly Mr. Cool.

Which makes him that much cooler, when you think about it.

But the biggest reason Keith is so amazing?

18. It’s because this is the reaction everyone has when they turn on Dateline and see he’s the not the host.

Fremantle Media

19. So keep doing what you do, Keith. On behalf of the entire human race, I thank you.

NBC

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