1.
If you fly somewhere, you can’t help but imagine the next eighty years of your kids' lives should the plane go down.
2.
You repeatedly tell people how stoked you are to be able to use the bathroom all by yourself.
3.
If you get carded you act like you've just won the lottery.
4.
You're constantly pulling out your phone to show off pictures of your kids.
5.
You have trouble enjoying yourself because you feel guilty about not being with your kids.
6.
At dinner you keep saying, “It’s nice to eat somewhere that doesn’t handout crayons with their menus!”
7.
You start the night ready to turn it up faster than a college kid on spring break...
8.
But after a few drinks you're drunkenly crying, “I miss mah babies!”
9.
You swear like a sailor and don't care who hears you.
10.
When you're not partying, you're gushing about how excited you are to sleep.
11.
Instead of saying how much fun you're having, you keep talking about how much fun you'll have when you bring your kids there one day.
12.
You pester whoever is watching your kids to send you endless photos of your kid.
13.
You have inordinately long FaceTime sessions with your kids, including babies.
14.
You also insist on being given a long breakdown of your kid's day.
15.
You WILL NOT stop stressing about how you need to bring something back for your kid.
16.
Despite this, you only pick up something at the last possible moment.
17.
And when you get home it only takes a few hours before you start looking forward to your next trip.
