rnc

The Republican Platform In 16 Songs

Just don’t tell Bruce Springsteen that “Thunder Road” is on this list.

Though the Republican Party’s official platform has not yet been ratified, the GOP accidentally posted a copy on their website Friday. It’s a revealing document, but hardly a fun read. You know what would help? An appropriate soundtrack! Here are 16 songs that explain the 2012 Republican Party platform.

1. Ne-Yo, “Miss Independent”

“We are the party of independent individuals and the institutions they create.”

2. Cyndi Lauper, “I Want A Mom That Will Last Forever”

“Foremost among those institutions is the American family,” the platform continues. “It is the foundation of our society.”

3. Big Fun, “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It)”

“We oppose euthanasia and assisted suicide.”

4. Spiritualized, “The Straight And Narrow”

“The union of one man and one woman must be upheld as the national standard.”

5. Cher, “If I Could Turn Back Time”

The platform puts a strong emphasis on “Repealing Obamacare,” pledging that a Republican president will immediately suspend and then repeal Obama’s signature legislative achievement.

6. The Moldy Peaches, “Downloading Porn With Davo”

“The Internet must be made safe for children.”

7. Lil Markie, “Diary Of An Unborn Child”

“Through Obamacare, the current Administration has promoted the notion of abortion as healthcare. We, however, affirm the dignity of women by protecting the sanctity of human life.”

8. Kid Rock, “Abortion”

“Numerous studies have shown that abortion endangers the health and well-being of women, and we stand firmly against it.”

9. The Libertines, “Love On The Dole”

“The federal government’s entire system of public assistance should be reformed to ensure that it promotes work.”

10. Zebra Katz, “Ima Read”

They support “family literacy programs.”

11. Oasis, “Don’t Look Back in Anger”

They are against curriculum changes that have made education more critical of America’s past, writing “centralizing forces outside the family and community have sought to remake education in order to remake America.”

12. Pat Benetar, “My Clone Sleeps Alone”

They “urge a ban on human cloning.”

13. Montgomery Gentry, “You Do Your Thing”

In reference to laws that require pharmacists to dispense birth control, they write that “No healthcare professional or organization should ever be required to perform, provide for, withhold, or refer for a medical service against their conscience.”

14. Bruce Springsteen, “Thunder Road”

“We urge enactment of pending legislation that would require parental consent to transport girls across state lines for abortions.”

15. Beyoncé, “Yes”

“Abstinence from sexual activity is the only protection that is 100 percent effective.”

16. Ice Cube, “Color Blind”

“We support mandatory prison sentencing for gang crimes.”

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