1. George W. Bush became a grandfather in April, 2013.
“Come sit on grandpa’s lap… he’s going to tell you a story about how he once was President. ”
2. Dennis Rodman says he’s headed back to North Korea.
Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un. Just two bros hanging out.
3. Miranda Kerr confirmed that she’s no longer a Victoria’s Secret Angel.
Upon hearing the news, Lena Dunham tried to apply for the job.
4. Diddy pucker up? Mogul linked to top-heavy hottie Kate Upton.
A model and a rapper hooking up? Unheard of!
5. Don’t believe those rumors about about a super-raunchy Joe Jonas sex tape.
Guess those purity rings the Jonas Brothers used to sport are invalid now.
6. Bradley Cooper lives with his mom Gloria ‘it’s not easy, but she’s a cool chick’.
“See I told you it was cool,” said every guy living at home trying to pick up chicks at a bar.
7. Sean Lowe holding off on sex until marriage: ‘Bachelor’ star says Christian faith has made him ‘a born again virgin’.
He then became a hero to all nerdy high school boys not getting laid.
8. The 6-year old millionaire who loves ‘being the boss.’ Kid beauty pageant winner Isabella Barrett is now the center of a mini-conglomerate.
Honey Boo Boo ain’t got nothing on this girl. More like Honey Poor Poor.
9. Ryan Gosling stood up for cows to milk producers.
If he’s not out saving girls from getting hit by taxis, he’s out saving cows. Oh Ryan… you give until it hurts.
10. Beyonce, Jay-Z’s Cuba trip was approved by the U.S. Government.
Phew! Thank God! We were ALL worried their vacation wouldn’t be approved.
11. Justin Bieber’s monkey was quarantined in Germany.
For the love of God, SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! No 19 year old should ever be apart from their monkey.
12. One Direction charmed First Lady Michelle Obama, but declined a White House Invitation.
Perhaps they really meant to hit the “maybe attending” button.
13. Insane behavior: Ozzy denied his divorce with Sharon, but fessed up to drinking and drugs.
A rockstar fesses up to doing drinking and doing drugs?! Shocking.
14. JWoww is eager for more soap opera acting roles: Former ‘Jersey Shore’ star was bitten by the acting bug after most recent recurring gig.
She wants more acting roles? You mean she wasn’t cast for her acting on the Jersey Shore?