10 Things Unemployed Graduates Are Sick Of Hearing

Just Graduated? Unemployed and Fed Up? Here's a list of the Top 10 Things you hate to hear about your post-grad predicament.

1. Have you thought about looking for a job?

Look for a job? Why, Gosh, The thought had never occurred to me? I only go through a million job applications a day. I've rewritten my CV with the care and detail of the New York Times editor and have written more cover letters than I have written college essays. All I do is apply for jobs, looking for work has become my fulltime job.

2. Have you tried an internship?

Oh I'd love to work for free. But see, the thing is, I'm beyond broke, have NO Money and an abundance of student loans. SO working for free, is not really an option

3. Have you considered looking abroad for work?

Here's the problem. 1 I don't wanna leave and 2 you need money to leave. Please explain to me how I am expected to pay for my ticket, rent, set up. When all I have to my name is a few coins and a degree in Communication?

4. But other Graduates have jobs?

Really? You don't say. I'm aware of this, but unlike me they did useful things like Computer Science or Pharmaceutical Chemistry. Both booming industries. Not many opportunities for someone who specialised in Sociology and World Religions.

5. Sorry, you don't have enough experience

Sorry? How am I meant to get experience when NOBODY will give me a job? Seriously? What's with "Graduate wanted: Min experience 3 years" Thanks............

6. Maybe you should go back to college?

What? Surely you're joking. No I'm done with school and I'm not going back. I've experienced real food and cocktails with friends. I can't go back to ramen noodles and label less vodka

7. Now's a good time to go travelling

Again, stop suggesting things I need money for. Also I hate camping, I love showering and I'm cranky when my routine is interrupted. If I'm going to go travelling, I want to do it in style. Sleeping in a hut in Cambodia, surrounded by little biting bugs is not something that appeals to me

8. But you're so qualified. Why are you out of work?

I really can't answer that question!? At all. Maybe the universe hates me, or maybe, I don't know, we are in a global recession? It'd be easier for me to prove if a God exists rather than answer why I don't have a job

9. Now you can take time out to consider your options and find yourself

No Please, I can't even respond to that. Find myself. What do you think four years of college was for? I found myself, I'm here and I want a job. I don't really have any options to consider. Just please hire me, please.

10. It's a tough time for you, but it will get better.

I know you mean well. But it's hard right now. I went from partying every night, meeting new people, learning new things and dreaming about my future, to sitting in my parents house in an old college hoody watching The XFactor. I realise it won't be this way forever, but will you stop trying to give me advice and just let me wallow in my post grad blues. At least for now