The 9 Circles Of Hell On Social Media

Welcome to Dante’s Inferno for the 21st Century. posted on

1. Circle One: Gym Selfies

If someone goes to the gym and they don’t take a picture, did it actually happen?

2. Circle Two: Folks Who Make You Feel Bad For Having A Dissenting Opinion

On social media, there is no middle ground. Either agree with what the most popular opinion is, or prepare to be skewered.

3. Circle Three: People Who Incessantly Brag

It could be about their kids, their amazing job, their peachy keen relationship, they just never stop bragging.

4. Circle Four: Music Snobs

These people are, quite possibly, the most insufferable folks on the entire ‘net. They only listen to “quality music,” none of that mainstream pop shit.

5. Circle Five: Trolls

I like to imagine that most folks who troll the Internet are children, but I’ve seen adults who do nothing but troll all day. Essentially, they just post inflammatory remarks to get a rise out of people They usually succeed, too.

6. Circle Six: Internet Stans

People who claim to be stans are the most deplorable folks on the Internet.You’ve probably heard of some of them before. There’s the BeyHive (Beyoncé), the Little Monsters (Lady GaGa), the Beliebers (Justin Bieber), the Directioners (One Direction) just to name a few. They typically have an account, with the face of their favorite celeb as the avatar. They spend countless hours praising said celeb and bashing other celebs that they feel may be a potential threat to their favorite.

7. Circle Seven: The Socially Conscious

Here you’ll find people who are always angry, and they love to discuss the possibility of usurping the government. They also enjoy telling you that being a social media activist is a lazy way to bring about change, when all the while they’re lecturing the masses from their MacBook Pro.

8. Circle Eight: Parody Accounts

The majority of accounts similar to the one pictured above are uninspired and although they’re supposed to be funny, they typically aren’t.

9. Circle Nine: Religious Zealots

Disclaimer: Nothing wrong with being religious. However, why are you trying to make people feel guilty if they don’t “like” a picture of Jesus on Facebook? STAHP.

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